CCP Oughta Know

UPDATE 2010: With the Dominion patch, lag is back just as good as the old days. The largest fleet loss in Eve history (4 titans + dozens and dozens of capital ships) were lost due to lag on jump-in without firing a single shot. CCP Response: Players should not have started the fight since they knew that lag might occur.

Here's an epic fight:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0o1xRqEOX0

END EDIT.

Eve Online is a massively multiplayer space sim, where 23,000 to 52,000 players are logged in at any one time. The game is massive in scope, but battles between the largest player coalitions are often plagued by unplayable lag.

In these epic fights (which can involve more than 1500 players on a battlefield) victory often comes to the side that can log in more quickly during lag, or is lucky enough to not become desynched; not the team using better strategy, or the one with more firepower. When a server node is lagged out, players can sit at the login progress bar, waiting hours upon hours with nothing happening. This video parodies this frustrating aspect of Eve Online, and pokes fun at its developer, CCP, who is responsible for the game's server hardware and architecture.


Original song: "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette. From the album, "Jagged Little Pill" (1995).


[VERSE]

I... want... you to know
that I'm... sor-ry for you.
You... do... nothing 'bout
the lag for us all.

Another version of Eve
not this false Tran-quility
some mythic game where we can... fight fairly
Oh how I dream of this place
but now I'm stuck here in space
and staring at this black-screen-'cuz, I can't... login

[CHORUS]

'Cause the fix that you gave that you made wasn't able to make it enough for us to field half our guys. No!
And every time you help Jita do they know how you hold us, you sold us
on fleet battles! Fleet battles!
But we still all died!

And I'm here to remind you
Of the lag that plagues each and every day
It's not fair to deny me
of the end game content I pay to see
C-C-P oughta know!

[VERSE]

Eve... does... very well.
Ji-ta's... sta-ble.
We're... not... quite as well,
the logs ought to show.

Did you forget about fleets, are you rich CCP?
I hate to bug you in the middle of profit
It's such a slap in the face, when ships are never replaced
And how long before you think we'll say "@#$% it!"

[CHORUS]

'Cause the fix that you gave that you made wasn't able to make it enough for us to log 50 caps, no!
And every time you help Jita do they know how you sold us, you told us
"it's client side," "client side,"
but now the node's died!

And I'm here to remind you
Of the lag that plagues each and every day
It's not fair to deny me
of the end game content I pay to see
C-C-P oughta know!

[BRIDGE]

[CHORUS]

'Cause the joke that just paid for a 4th alt was me and I'm not gonna fade as soon as you let us die
And you know it!
And every time I suicide gank some poor carebear's Hulk I hope you feel it
Well can you feel it?!?

Well I'm here to remind you
of the lag that plagues us still to this day
It's not fair to deny me
of the end game content I pay to see
C-C-P oughta know
why I'm here to remind you
Of the lag that plagues each and every day
It's not fair to deny me
of the end game content I pay to see
C-C-P oughta know!

Category:

Gaming

Tags:

• Eve
• Online
• Alanis
• Morissette
• Oughta
• Know
• parody
• lag
• fleet
• battle
• unplayable
• CCP
• GoonSwarm
• Goonfleet
• BoB
• Band
• of
• Brothers
• Titans
• Pandemic
• Legion
• IT
• Alliance

[PlayWithDaveyyy]

The lyrics are cool. But I always found it pretty gay when you could clearly hear the song saying one thing and the lyrics saying another. I know that was the point. :P You should try and make a song for it, like the "I robbed a goon" one. :]

[TheMaster42]

@PlayWithDaveyyy I can sing but I don't sound like Alanis Morissette =/ Also I'm a guy.

[AmayaYuukuno]

Well done lyrics, I applaude you; both as an EvE player and an Alanis fan.

On another note, there's something sketchy with EvE atm. Poinen was down yesterday, and Forge market was out of service for a while today.

Jita lag is mostly gone though, time to help our customers. ;)

One really must hope they have some sort of preparation in case an unexpected large-scale battle occurs. A planned battle is supposed to be mentioned to CCP, but not all are planned I'd wager...

[TheMaster42]

@AmayaYuukuno Couple days ago 200 v 200 on a REINFORCED NODE, the 200 jumping in didn't load. It's still really really bad.

Jita's good though. =|

[cosy18]

the lag is back ;S

[ImMrFeelGood]

HALEY!!!!!

[crazyintheheadguy145]

it’s funny because it’s true

[USREVEGE]

@liidan15 what you fly depends on skills trained, i am amar, but have all the training to fly gallente titan so i can only fly gallente titans.

[majestix666]

this is wonderfull and sad... wonderfull cause its true and nice work!!!

but sad cause its the all day truth :(

[liidan15]

can other factions have other titan's that are not their own faction's titan?...anyone understand me?

[Bugholeexcalibur]

Cry more!

[vortex675]

i rarely use jita anymore unless i see a bpc i want or need its alot better to just build your own items then to go to lag central.

[neoduke007]

and this is the issue that still plagues EVE today... I don't think they fixed it to this date... if you want to have massive fleet battle you have to let the devs know before hand and there is still a limit even still as to how many ships can be in the fleet battle...

What a POS game...

I'm so glad I quit it after 5 years, took me too long to realise how bad it was though :(

[Hyperion1012]

Copies*

[Hyperion1012]

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