Janet Kuypers performed this poem live November 30th 2007 at the Mercury Cafe feature of hers in Chicago. She was the first feature of the evening (of a cafe which closed at 9:00 in the evening). She read a variety of poems that she had never read live before, and even included a brand new poem that was written for the March month in the 2008 Poetry Wall Calendar (on sale in the end of 2007 and the beginning of 2008 through Scars Publications, at scars.tv). And for more information on Janet Kuypers, or to see additional writings from her, go to janetkuypers.com.
Below are select poems that were read live at this performance.
--
holding my hand
when we're walking in stride together down
the street and our feet pump out the same rhythm
and our shoulders are almost touching and our
hands brush up against each other for one brief
moment and he reaches over and takes my hand
when he slides his fingers around mine
and I feel him move along the palm of my hand
well, no one knows what it feels like
when his fingers curl and hold me tight
well, it feels like pop rocks
it feels like when that candy is sliding
down my throat after I let it explode
on my tongue and it's still tingling and no
one knows I'm eating this and no one knows
the feeling and this is my little secret
and I feel this feeling like never before
and it makes me want to laugh and cry
because I look around the room and no one
else is eating those pop rocks and no one
knows the feeling when he's holding my hand
--
Have No Backbone
I tried to put on the show for you
but no matter how good an actress is
she cannot become her part
I tried to show I loved you
I tried to act as if I cared
but I really didn't care
not about you
and so I hid it
I hid my feelings
suppressed my emotions
and I acted like your daughter
I feel nothing
so I go through the motions
and it hurts me to think
that I really don't have a family
the flashbacks kill me
and so I do my best to forget
and to smile when I am told
but I can only smile for so long
when I really want to cry
and I really want to leave
but the thought of the curtain closing
hurts me more
than playing the part
so don't worry
the role is still filled
for as long as I do not have a backbone
and as long as I do not have a family
I will act
--
timing is everything
timing is everything, you know
just when you say you've had enough
just when you're ready to wave that white flag
and step out of the ring and stop playing the game
and stop feeling the pain because you're numb
that's when for a brief moment something
wonderful happens and reminds you why you live
and reminds you of what hope and joy and
even love is
and suddenly breathing is no longer a chore
and suddenly nothing is a chore and suddenly
there is no pain and suddenly you remember
what it's like to be alive and you start to like it
well, that's when they pull they rug out from
under you, right at that moment, so that
you can fall to the floor and then the biting
sting of pain hurts that much more
timing is everything, you know, they do it
that way on purpose because they can't let you
go on feeling hope and not feeling pain
this is their key, it's all in the timing
--
civil war
I
the confederates are winning the battle
but I know the north will win the war
and all they'll get is a ravaged battlefield
II
a civil war is raging inside me
but I'm tired of fighting from within
when all I want is a revolution
--
Let the War Begin
My silence is my only choice. My silence
is my weapon. As it is with you. As it is
with all of us.
To go against all instinct and not fight.
This is my weapon. To keep us alive and
bury the truth.
This is the way I keep our sanity, but
lose mine. Isn't this the way it always goes.
Me giving in first.
You say this isn't what you want but
your actions speak novels to me. I've read
this book before.
Nothing is pure when you destroy purity.
Nothing is sacred when there is no God
and no hope.
I've lost my battles and now I need new
defenses. I've thrown down the gauntlet.
Let the war begin.
--
Cast In Stone
I've searched a millenia for you
and my love for you will survive through the ages
And if they cast us in stone
it will only cement my love for you
for all to see and admire
because even if the elements
chip away our outer façades
the marble will smooth in time
and my soul will still flourish
being frozen by your side.
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7:24In The Motherhood Episode 1by flyboys1916214,327 views
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