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The desperate plight of a Moray man who, unable to locate a sufficient quantity of minced beef for his evening meal, finally loses the plot and takes vengeance with h...
The desperate plight of a Moray man who, unable to locate a sufficient quantity of minced beef for his evening meal, finally loses the plot and takes vengeance with his frenzied rap.
Lyrics:
Six in the morn, oot ma baed Cup o' haet caffee, git the paper raed Rake in the tinnie fur a wee jam scone Nihing bit crumbs, fit the hell's gin oan?
Pinsion day, hoose is dry Mebbe gae tae Murdoch's fur a wee staek pie Up the street, weel fa did a see? Doad an' Wully in the Raed Beestee.
Quater tae six, Ah'd better go She'll wunner far ah am, be up tae high doe A winner oan ma coupon'll calm hings doon Itherwise, ah'll be a henpeckit loon!
Came in aboot, nae smell, nae pan Naeb'dy aroon', fuar'n the hell hiv thae gang? "Far hiv YOU been?" she girns at me "Nivir mind that, fuar'n the hell's ma tea?
Fuar's ma mince? Fuar's ma mince? Haed a wee drap Windsday an' ah've haed nane since. Plinty o' tatty, big green laef Ah get a big moan but nae buggerin' baef!!!
Ah'm oot in a sweat an' ah'm panickin' noo On the sirch fur a bliddy big coo Rummel aboot, high and lo Nihing fur it, awa tae Tesco
Hoof doon the wid, nip in the air Only wunted ma maet, didna wunt ony mair Hands in ma poackets and sna oan the grun Slipped oan the path, a' ah cud dee wis run!
Weel, ah plummeted doon at an affa speed Christ A'michty ah thocht ah wis deid! Jist hung oan an staedied the ship Jeesus min, ah fair swung ma hips!
Goat tae Tesco, jist in time Nae cloased yit bit that suits me fine Bit fit'n the hell's this? Shelves bereft "Wir soary mister, thir"s nae baef left!"
Fuar's ma mince? Fuar's ma mince? Haed a wee drap Windsday an' ah've haed nane since. Plinty o' tatty, big green laef Thir's plinty excuses but nae buggerin' baef!!!
Fit can a man dee? The wurld"s goan tae pot Nae bliddy wunner a man taks the shot I dinna wunt the earth an' I couldna gie a dam Ah'm jist nae in the mood for corned baef nor spam
Ah've a bliddy guid mind tae mak a phone call Oan tae thae buggers at Interpol Nae baef, nae maet, fit an affa cairy oan! At's nae bliddy mince, fit the bliddy hell's yon!!?
Fuar's ma mince? Fuar's ma mince? Haed a wee drap Windsday an' ah've haed nane since. Plinty o' tatty, big green laef Dis naeb'dy care ah've nae buggerin' baef!!!?
(He has no mince) Fuar's ma bliddy denner min?
(He has no mince) Fit kinna bliddy caper's this, eh?
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