Passover Song - "Seder Masochist"

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Passover is one of the most widely observed Jewish Holidays. Seder Masochist is one of the most widely listened to Observational Jewish Holiday Songs. In 2011, it falls on April 18 and runs for either seven or eight days, depending on who you are and what you believe, which calendar you buy, and how long you're sleeping. The holiday is most known for the time when all of your Jewish friends are eating crackers, called Matzah. Or Matzo. Or Matza. Or, like every other Jewish word in the Hebrew language, a million other spellings and melodies consistent with the temples in your area. This song is about many aspects of the holiday: It's all about the fact that there are many times when I consider the eating of the matzah to be good, a far cry from what the Israelites had to eat when leaving Egypt in droves. It's also about not eating bread because the Jews didn't have time for the bread to rise, yet, instead we make fancy meals which take just as long, if not longer. It's also about three minutes and will destroy your concepts of what it means to throw a seder.

HOW TO THROW A SEDER FOR PASSOVER
1. Be Jewish.

It's probably not neccessary, but it helps.

2. Decide you're cool with buying food and drink for your friends and family and, most importantly, Elijah, the prophet who has never once come, even though I have left a full wine glass for him every year.

3. Remove all chametz, bread products from your house. Bread sucks. Carbs. It's a good time to start that Atkins Diet anyway.

4. Sell the chametz to a non-Jew before the holiday. That's right. You can SELL your bread to someone who is not Jewish, and then buy it back from them afterward. Hopefully, you're marking up the price and making a profit. Hey! Now you're thinkin!

5. Burn the remaining Chametz. Because it makes sense to waste food. On Passover. A Holiday commemorating the fact that so many Jews just left the house and ran without going to the grocery store to pick up Chocolate lollipops and Sour Jelly Fruit Slices.

6. Have enough Haggadah for everybody. These are the books for the seder. Because everybody likes to read.

7. Prepare the Seder Plate. Six items. zeroa, beitza, karpas, maror, chazeret, charoset. What are these things? Would it be easier if I said lettuce? Or horseradish? Probably. But why make it easy.

8. Have enough money for the Afikomen, the part of the Seder where you pay kids to find matzah that you hid around the house. In my family, I believe the prize money made it up to five whole dollars once. Extortion.

9. You need wine.

10. You'll need even more wine. You're supposed to have four cups worth. Let's make it four bottles.

11. Have some salt water for dipping. It's the tears. Immerse yourself in the imagery.

12. Listen to this song.

13. No, seriously. Don't just SAY you're going to. Really listen to it. I don't care there's so many videos on YouTube. I don't want to hear excuses.

14. Clean up. Swear you'll never do THAT again.

Happy Passover!

Andy
Aka Goldentusk

Other keywords: Passover seder masochist jewish jew

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[Goldentusk]

Every time that I stay up til 6:30am editing, I always forget that YouTube is not constricted to my own time zone. Instant gratification. :) Thanks for watching, guys. Going to sleep. If you're a theme song fan, I am shooting the new one next week. And go to my facebook page. That's where I do all my updates. Awwww yeah!

[supergamer2346]

I'm so glad you are making a lot of videos again. You are one of the greats.

[WhiteTiger950]

@balooc2 And a white jewish rap at that!

[airciment]

absolutely love this guy- its hilarious- keep it up

[meirriem13]

Hilarious! Mazta isn't that bad.

[OmegaApocalypse]

Isn't this the song from Vsauce...

[orr971]

Great! Nice song...

[Metalgooze]

I have no idea whatsoever what this Passover thing is... but this song is cracking me up, every time... It's grooooooovy xD

[extrapressure]

@balooc2 he's jewish

[batwave27]

I don't get it at all

[JaredWardlaw]

Press 4 for "balls"

[shmuli9]

This is hilarious... (And older people often DO say "next year in Jerusalem".)