Published on Apr 23, 2012
This description is 99% bullshit-free*
"Like the smell of your own farts, Bullistic Unleashed is hilarious, offensive and uniquely satisfying." - your mum.
The bulls are out to crush the mall and it's your job to help them by flinging these anti-social bovines across huge levels, smashing everything (and everyone) in sight. Use pinball bumpers, exploding crates, elevators and barrel cannons to keep your bull in play and rack up massive damage.
Intuitive gameplay -- pull back on the bulls to launch them at the environment. "Derivative" you say? Hey, it's all about where you take your inspirations to, not from**. In our case, that's the gutter. By way of a strip club. Alcohol may also have been involved. It's all a bit hazy.
Super-sized smashups -- huge levels to vandalize with multiple floors, elevators, pinball bumpers and barrels to shoot out of.
Bulls to the wall action -- six special bulls to unlock, each with their own unique destructive skills.
It ain't easy being a b!$tard -- the shop owners are fighting back with meat-grinders and irresistible lady cows. F@$kers.
Go F your Friends -- send F cards to friends, relatives or random strangers from within the game, they'll love you for it.
Ruin your game, give us more money -- not very good? Why not purchase a range of In App Purchases so you can get a better score and look like the big man? Won't change the fact you're a pussy, mind.
* actual bullshit content may vary between 1 and 67.25%.
** according to Jean Luc-Godard anyway, but what would he know? Does he even own an iPhone?