Killing Flies

So, one day I get home and I see a fly in my kitchen. I don't like flies, but then again, who does? So I think nothin' of it and start headin' to my living room. Then I see another fly....So I find a random fly swater in my kitchen and begin my journey. My friend Connor is with me and we were about to play the best multiplayer game invented....Super Smash Brothers Melee (Not Brawl because SSBB is weak-sauce.) So I notice this fly is rather large and deduct that it is a horsefly, which can bite you....ouch. It flies into the top corner and I go to hit it and like three or four more flies come out. =/ I begin swating and killing with epic swating powers. My hatred is turned into rage and I am overcome by the hunt and desire to rid my house from the disease carrying, feces licking, pests. I killed all that I could see...picking up their dead bodies and throwing them in the trash. One I swated into the sink and down the drain it went. Blood and guts were smeared on the cabinets. I followed the last one into my living room. I would actually talk to the flies and tell the how they were going to die like a deranged lunatic, as if they could understand. I learned that flies are like other bugs in that they go towards the light, they gathered in all my lampshades. But wait, more just seemed to apparate out of nowhere. There were about three in the tall lamp at the right, two in the small lamp on the table to the left, and two on the curio cabinet in the far left corner. They were fast and annoying. There was a grass skirt hung on the tall lampshade and they would hang on the strings making it rather difficult to hit, so i threw it onto the couch. I narrowed my quests to a few flies and more blood and guts, squished little red eyeballs were on the clear tall lamp. I left them there as proof for when my family would return home. I ventured to my bedroom and found another in my light and yet another flying behind my bed board. I swated and swated, missed countless times. I went into a frenzy like I was insane, only to hear my friend keel over on the floor laughing at me. I made funny voices, British, just plain weird, oh I think I talked to the flies in the voice of Gollum. I thought it was done, we played SSBM for about an hour and we were leaving as I noticed more flies in the living room! My friend was annoyed and said to just forget about it, but I couldn't. I finally killed the last ones. The next three to four days, each morning I would walk through the house and find another. The fight was less intense because they were getting old and I guess didn't have any food or whatever they eat to nourish them. One in the lamp again, one underneath the coffe pot, and one in the office. The grand total I would have to say of the masacre was about twenty to twenty-five horseflies. So I played this song for my friend in the midst of the battle and named it "Killing Flies." It was, to say the least, a battle of epic proportions.

Category:

Music

Tags:

• Killing Flies
• imonthelordsside
• blue
• das blaues klavier
• infablue
• piano
• fun
• bored

[Lugia625]

Lol, great story, is there a way to keep horse flies away from you? Every time I go outside in the summer, they swarm me, and when I get in my car, they even ram against the windows, and they die while doing so. Is there any way to scare them away?

[ImOnTheLordsSide]

@Lugia625

Haha thanks! Idk, how to get rid of them aside from a fly swatter! haha, I'm sorry they constantly attack you.

[MegaMeatbat]

wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf and wtf this is not how to kill flies bch u mofo i want to murder flies you

[kimi4g]

wow . that was really GreaT!!!!!! :)

[ellasable333]

wow! this is totally awesome. . .