Noise-Ode to the Neptune Audio Mixer

This is one third a tribute to the mysterious and wonderful Neptune 610 Audio Mixer, one third a despairing melodrama of noise/music angst, and one third a documentary on the dynamics of ebay at the dawn of the 21st century. You may think this is rather self-indulgent, but I can assure you it is not, sir or madam!

Everyone remembers their first ebay buy, yes? Mine was in 2000: an audio mixer, but a rather odd looking one with rotary controls, wooden sides and integrated spring reverb: a Neptune 610. The US-based seller was the coolly named Dr. Robert Rush who played in an interesting reformed 60s band, 'The Rip Chords' (a phrase which could equally refer to the shredded quasi-chordal grot this mixer would later be privy to). He included a photo of the band with the parcel, which I have treasured.

After the mixer arrived, the vivacity of the EQs and the haunting reverb impelled a hardcore research effort into this device. It transpired that these fantastic mixers were manufactured in limited numbers during the 1970s as user assembly kits. It dawned on me that perhaps Dr. Rush had assembled this mixer himself from one of these kits? If so, his supplementary letters kindly dispensing encouragement to "make some great music" were not so much throwaway pleasantries, but personal pleas; last requests infused with earth-shattering, life-threatening urgency (conveyed in the vid through use of the Terminator II theme). Dutifully, I heeded his words both on the sheer brilliance of his mixer, and out of a slight fear that the 'Rip Chords' would appear on my doorstep one day and kick up aggro. Seven years later and after much usage and love, the 'great music' has not manifested itself, which is worrying. Incidentally, the benchmark on which I'm measuring 'great music' is the Rip Chords' 1964 hit "Hey Little Cobra". I have never witnessed any mini-skirted girls or 'teddy boys' jiving to my groove... and I've got CCTV and long-range binoculars too.

Anyways, here the springy skeleton of a train seat is agitated by a door-bell solenoid (discovered on the pavement outside a SPAR newsagents on Tyrwhitt Road, London) controlled by a phase locked loop style feedback signal. The Neptune is mixing different signals from pickups placed on the train seat skeleton. 'Great music' or not, 'twas hyperinteresting. Thanks Neptune, you great 110V nutter!

Category:

Howto & Style

Tags:

• loud
• noise
• neptune
• mixer
• ebay
• epiphany
• mother
• bosom
• SPAR
• doorbell
• spring
• reverb
• electronics
• unit
• melodrama
• metal
• gubbins

[abbaarydumbfuck]

ddoooppeee

make some tapes maaannn

[ashfordaisyak]

Tapes are deployed weekly, to be sure. 'Tapedropping' is my forte and poverty demands it.

[ajdicks]

not to be rude but, why take a warm analog mixer with old-school reverb and run horrible unmusical noises through it? then why make a video of said horrible noise to demonstrate the analog warmth of the mixer?

[ashfordaisyak]

Because I'm a comedian

[needlescrape123]

What the hell? I cannot understand any of this...Do you just need some broken equipment and make noise? What do people get from this emotionally? Is it rage?  Is it a protest on typical music?

[ashfordaisyak]

There's no broken equipment here. The Neptune is a marvellous mixing machination which should never be desecrated. What you're hearing is, regretfully, my own incompetence at making good music. I must surely be "not all there"! Or else it is merely a failed study in staccato resonance. Forgive all this.

[rogo324]

Hi I was watching your video, I have a neptune mixer powerd 610p but is broken and I wonder if the few schematic diagram of the amplifier, if you would greatly appreciate you could provide me

[ajvlvXyi]

Some nice Robert Wyatt-style vocals would go beautifully with your sound!

[sonictrasher]

That. sounds. awesome.

[Gencturk92]

Terminator theme, nice

[chuy655]

lol you cant make music with that i gonna tell you what i told my math teacher that bull crap

[DRAN4612]

I love this.

Show more of the spring thing you made - that thing was fantastic!

I hate it how everyone has to moralise sound, like there are some combinations of frequencies that are not good together. or that anything without a 4/4 rhythm is "BAD". That's the equivalent of saying, "You may wear a shirt and trousers, but never green and red."

anyway, I enjoyed that - didn't care too much for the mixer but cool nonetheless.

[MrHungryal]

some how this sickly noise makes me laugh lol

[Huuumanuuure]

That's so cool...

I think it's his mother's bosom did the trick.

HAHAHA, funny shit, dude.