Overcoming Inner Struggles

PLEASE READ ME After Video!! (It's long...)

Hey Guys,

This is in response to a viewer's question. Full Question Below:

"i have a deep question! i see a lot of myself in you.... you really represent the kind of adult i hope im turning out to be. but there is something that i think is really hindering me from realizing my potential. if it is not to personal, do you think you can give me some tips on how to love yourself more. haha i know that is both a heavy and strange question, but i think i could benefit from watching a video about your personal struggles with or victories over low self esteem. im 20 and gonna be a senior in college. and i think im just missing out on a lot of what life has to offer because this self love thing is just something i have not properly dealt with, and i think i need some help. help from someone a little older who can relate. ive been natural for a month now and this is probably the oppurtune time to embrace this kind of advice. hope you get this comment and i look forward to your response :D "

She wanted to know my personal struggles and how I gained my self esteem. I always had identity issues because I never fit in except with my best friend. I always had other friends, but it never went deeper than acquaintances. I'm not saying it wasn't my fault for not forming deeper relationships, I'm sure my self esteem had a lot to do with it, but the fact is that it's how I felt.

I gained my self esteem through my accomplishments. Pushing myself to achieve in my sports, my career, and my hobbies, led me to learn a lot about myself and what I am capable of. So it wasn't the accomplishment that gave me self esteem, it was the PROCESS of getting there. Through that process, I became SELF-AWARE and began to appreciate and respect myself for who I was. This led me to love myself for who I was no matter how I was perceived.

** I want you to know that I am not telling you to run away, or to hide, or isolate yourself. No, that is not what I'm recommending. I isolated myself because it was my natural progression. I was focused on my school work and didn't have much time for anything else (if you're an art student you understand why...) And I wasn't like Van Gogh all depressed in my room or anything, LOL, I had a life, but instead of partying, I was studying, or in the art building with my classmates and professor. I am just recommending that you get involved in something that you can call your own and get dedicated to it in order to push yourself and see what you're capable of.

The ONLY reason I shared the story about me not fitting in is because it was a source of my lack of self confidence that I overcame through the process of dedicating myself fully and realizing my potential. Also, the viewer wanted to know! Lol, it was not the reason I stopped my Facebook account, it was not the reason I got my own dorm room, it was not the reason I had tunnel vision for my career.

However, doing all of those things, led me to focus my studies and career, and gain self confidence through my own personal journey, which aided in my growth as an individual.

Hope this helps to clear anything up that you might be questioning.. all I can recommend is what I know and what I've experienced personally that's helped me. It's coming from a loving place and I hope it helps someone.

Check Out My Hair Channel! : http://youtube.com/naptural85
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[eclecticsoul91]

Oh, gosh I have been labeled the "white girl" by everyone that I know for as long as I can remember, this video spoke to me in many different ways...especially because I just recently, about 2 months ago, I deactivated my Facebook account to focus on me and learn to love myself and grow as a person and distance myself from people who will only hinder me from my goals, watching this video is just confirmation that I am on the right path, THANKS!

[musicjunkie295]

You are God-sent. I JUST prayed about this EXACT struggle...and here you are. I sat in bed praising God for sending you my way. I literally had to pause the video..lol. I just had this epiphany about my life like 3 days ago, prayed about it, and boom, there you go- talking about my same exact phase in life. I actually just realized that I needed to focus on something and shut the world out (even though I've always known what it was). Thankyou for posting this video. :) Godbless you.

[evolty1]

I can relate all too well to the story except my mom only had up to a high school education.....Thank you for being the beautiful human being you are ....and thank you for striving for more...keep staying true to you. peace and blessings!

[truecaramel3]

I have a similar story to yours. Thanks for sharing. I'm here if you need another buddy in the MD area!

[chineyeye88]

I understand, what you're talking about. I was always called an oreo because I never spoke ibonics, & in Los Angeles, especially Crenshaw, the last thing you want to advertise is how well you speak. My mother is Jamaican and she didn't brook any type of ibonics (ghetto speech), so I always spoke properly and because of that I got made fun of until I got to college. I'm happy someone asked you this question and I'm happy you shared your response with us, you're a really blessed individual. ;p

[bazpoze88]

poor you. I'm Haitian and I totally understand your struggle with people calling you white. I'm sure your Haitian roommate did not meant any harm. Haitian tend to call black women white if they have long long hair or if the texture is curly or very wavy.

good luck..

[MissKay77]

Thank you for this video. Some things we learn (or don't learn) as children carry over into adulthood. I myself have a lot of acquaintances, very few friends (2-3). FOCUS is key here, and not on what others think of you, but on what you WANT in your life! Only allow positive things! Until you are able to maintain your own positive energy!

[Natural010511]

@Naptural85 I totally understand. I experinced some of the same issues growing up. Being called a "White Girl" because my parents taught me proper english. I never understood that? I refused to dumb myself down to make other people feel comfortable. Some black people who are ignorant,insecure or intimidated by our intellegence will try to pull our "Black Card" if we dont fit into their idea of a typical black male or female. I refuse to entertain that foolishness!

[csurrell07]

I really appreciate this video. Thank you so much :)

[UPCLOSENMAKEUP]

OMG, I can related to this video. I am very well spoken and have been called the same things. Wow I know god has sent me to your channel.

[EsentrikEntity]

I've been called 'white' continuously too, even by members of my own family. And I actually used to accept it. I also used to accept being the 'weirdo' and the 'awkward one,' but since college I've learned to ignore all that and just call myself 'Me.' Because that's exactly who I am.

Thank God for good friends and a sound mind. We're all beautiful.

[up4itgal]

Also don't constantly compare yourself to others. It's the path to disaster and depression. Measure up to YOU NOT anyone else.That's my life lesson. :-)