Narcissist's Pain: Narcissism, Sadism, and Masochism

Everything you Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html

When the narcissist is angry, unhappy, disappointed, injured, or hurt - he feels unable to express his emotions sincerely and openly since to do so would be to admit his frailty, his neediness, and his weaknesses. He deplores his own humanity - his emotions, his vulnerability, his susceptibility, his gullibility, his inadequacies, and his failures. So, he makes use of other people to express his pain and his frustration, his pent up anger and his aggression. He achieves this by mentally torturing other people to the point of madness, by driving them to violence, by reducing them to scar tissue in search of outlet, closure, and, sometimes, revenge. He forces people to lose their own character traits - and adopt his own instead. In reaction to his constant and well-targeted abuse, they become abusive, vengeful, ruthless, lacking empathy, obsessed, and aggressive. They mirror him faithfully and thus relieve him of the need to express himself directly.

Having constructed this writhing hall of human mirrors, the narcissist withdraws. The goal achieved, he lets go. As opposed to the sadist, he is no in it, indefinitely, for the pleasure of it. He abuses and traumatizes, humiliates and abandons, discards and ignores, insults and provokes - only for the purpose of purging his inner demons. By possessing others, he purifies himself, cathartically, and exorcises his demented self.

(From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 2 DVDs with 12 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)

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• narcissist
• psychopath
• sadist
• paranoid
• masochist
• sadism
• masochism
• punishment
• self-worth
• narcissistic supply
• projective identification
• narcissism
• victims
• abuse
• torture
• torment
• taunting
• insult
• humiliation

[samvaknin]

Most narcissists are sadistic - but they are not classic sadists. Narcissists deliberately inflict pain in order to achieve something (they are goal-oriented). Classic sadists inflict pain because they enjoy it and are having fun.

[gingerztube]

This makes so much sense of what I went through in my childhood. I could never understand why my father made me and my siblings and mother suffer with his physical abuse as if he enjoyed it, His constant teasing and down right nasty behavior and meanness felt personal but now I know it wasn't-he was just feeding his narcissistic needs .He would appear sorry after an attack but would do it again and again. We all walked on egg shells and feared his next outburst. A parent like that changes you:(

[MACSMovies]

This one was spooky!

You described my former abuser to the exact detail of behavior. I have spent the last year slowly releasing this pain that was placed on me. It took away my joy and peace. I am free of that person now, but my god, this one made me grieve a bit for myself and what I lost during the time with that creep.

[TamoIdiot]

I had been psychically and physically abused and now i'm masochist.

[trulylovelylady]

I was put on a pedestal treated like a princess for 3 years and then dumped overnight with no explanation. It was like having an alien in front of me who stated he had changed and did not want anything to do with me anymore. I am over this freak, sicko now but it has been hard. Knowing how they cannot love tells me a lot. i told him i loved him and thats when he changed and asked me what love was!!

[acquisces]

for my psychopath the funeral of my son was a show...he didn't laugh but he did not shed one tear....i was in agony and he was running "his" show... his show at the funeral of my son who was not his...then he stole most of what i had, broke my ribs twice (third time he tried i broke his right hand in 5 pieces with one kick in complete darkness), gave me a black eye twice (the second one was so bad that it lasted for 1 month) and then he threw me out on the streets in a foreign country pennyless

[acquisces]

this is so true and profound... i could never understand this if i didn't encounter a psychopath...

[DrZuli]

landdoctor j.t.

[DrZuli]

@wilson2rent and spoils any holiday, any joy

[wilson2rent]

laughs at furnerals,when you are in agony.