Janet Kuypers performed this poem in the live Chicago inauguration of the open mic for the collection book release for "Word Curves" November 9th, 2007 at the Hokin gallery in the south loop. This 11/09/07 show contained 3 poems: "True Happiness in the New Millennium" (which has been read for television; airing 4 times in December 2006 for the Lake County Poets Society 10/03/06 in Waukegan, as well as for the UrbaNation book release 02/22/04 and live at the Spot 09/04/06, "More Than We Should Have" (which has never been read in a show before), and "White Knuckled" (which appears om the CD "Seeing Things Differently", as well as on the DMJ Art Connection CD "Indian Flux" and was in the performance art show and CD release for the 04/01/05 Chicago art gallery show "Contact-Conflict-Control", and it was even performed in the performance art show at the Jesse Oaks Poetry open mic and poetry slam called "UNcorrect"). These poems also appeared with the poems "Content With Inferior Men" and "Too Much Light" in the chapbook called "the Turn of the Word," which was released in print during this show and can be downloaded at janetkuypers.com or scars.tv. A Listing of all of the poems that were read at this feature follows, and for more material from Janet Kuypers, see http://www.janetkuypers.com for audio and writing.
Two of the three poems read for the show are listed below:
—
White Knuckled
The hot air was sticking
to her skin almost pulling
tugging at her very
flesh as she walked
outside down the
stairs from the train
station. Just then a
breeze hot and
sticky hit her
in just the wrong
way, brushed against her
lower neck, and she
felt his breath again,
not his breath
when he raped
her, but his stench
hot rank
when he was
just close to her.
Her breath quickened,
like the catch of her
breath when she has
just stopped
crying. All the emotion
is still there not
going away. She
walks to the bottom
of the stairs, railing
white-knuckled by her
small tender hands,
the hands of a child,
and that ninety degree
breeze suddenly
gives her a
chill. They say when
you get a chill it means
a goose walked
over your grave.
She knows better. She knows
that it is him
walking, and that
he trapped that child in
that grave
—
more than we should have
when i think of him i usually think about the drinking
actually, i never think of him as drinking
come to think of it
i just think of him as drunk
i can't even remember seeing the drinks in his hand
but his perception of the world is always altered
but someone reminded me tonight
of when he would work outside in the the cold Chicago winters
and he would come back with his moustache frozen
and there would be little icicles hanging
down toward his mouth
and then i thought of
when i waited with him once at the airport
because we were picking up someone
and we sat in the shrimp cocktail lounge
and he drank, and ate, and i waited
and as we left
we tried to pay the expressway toll with pennies
but some of the coins fell onto the street
and we had to throw more change at the machine
we paid more than we should have
i'm sure we did
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