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Mustache Anthem (live at JPL)

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Uploaded on Jan 25, 2012

Eppie Vojt performs "Mustache Anthem" at JPL's Bowl for Kids' Sake charity fundraiser.

Lyrics:

It seems to me, there's been a lot of misinformation about the attractiveness of a certain masculine facial feature. Well, I'm here to set the record straight.

Since I got my mustache
I'm lookin' like a hundred bucks
Can't keep the ladies off me
they're beggin' just to get a touch
Yo they can't get enough
of my upper crust
my facial snuggie
all these girlies wanna cuddle up

Dude's see me pull tens
easy like it's easy mac
Yo, how'd I do it?
upper lip aphrodisiac
Think they impress the girls
with a Benz on rims
Don't need a whip
I've got the Bentley of upper lips

Don't know 'bout you
but I don't fear chilly weather
Ain't about to phase me
'cause I got this lip sweater, look better
than dudes with no stache
Moss says it's straight cash
An added benefit?
It hides my unsightly rash

So put your mustache up in the sky
and when them girlies walk up, you keep your head up high
and say, "I've got a mustache, a magnificent mustache
you wanna get with me, then you'll have to get with my mustache"

And when I roll with the mustache crew
we do all of those things dudes with moustaches do
we... anchor the news, then we run for vacant Senate seats
bowl some strikes, then change tires on a NASCAR team
drive our vans and we scare little children
Fix your car when it's broke and do maintenance in your building
Play major league ball, star in adult flicks
join motorcycle gangs and form our own dictatorships

My upper lip is impervious to razor blades
look like a cop when I rock the aviator shades
Even men love my hairs that are terminal
Gets kind of weird when they touch it at the urinal
...seriously, this is more than a little bit awkward...
You're kind of invading my personal space right now...
one at a time fellas, one at a time!

So put your mustache up in the sky
and when them girlies walk up, you keep your head up high
and say, "I've got a mustache, a magnificent mustache
you wanna get with me, then you'll have to get with my mustache"
So put your mustache up in the sky
and when them girlies walk up, you keep your head up high
and say, "I've got a mustache, a magnificent mustache
you're looking kinda nice so I might let you feel my mustache"

Haha. Yeah. They say they like the way it feels.

Facial hair fiasco. A little mustache madness.

YEAH! It's 2012. It's time to stop running around like a little boy and slap something on that naked upper lip, SON! Yeah. Mustaches for life!

Beat purchased from 20dollarbeats.com -- couldn't have made this without them!

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