Chris Cohen - The Daily Mail

Lyrics

Lifes far more depressing when you read the Daily Mail,
For doom and gloom and youll be dead soon, its the best paper on sale,
Each day a terrorism threat or a new killer disease,
Its the best way to kill all optimism for just 45p

On Monday youll get cancer, if you eat Broccoli,
On Tuesday your face will implode, if you over clean your teeth
On Wednesday most cat owners, are likely peadophiles
& it was confirmed on Thursday, Bin Laden, has a cottage in Carlisle

Lifes far more depressing when you read the Daily Mail,
For doom and gloom and youll be dead soon, its the best paper on sale,
Each day a terrorism threat or a new killer disease,
Its the best way to kill all optimism for just 45p

Lock up your houses, dont move stay very still
The Mail has proof that everything in this World can kill,
Ever wondered why birds themselves arent bothered by bird flu?
Cos they dont read the sodding daily mail like me and you

On Friday eating ready meals could give you HIV
Saturday said the rounder your head, the less your life expectancy
On Sunday kids who play videogames were more likely to watch porn
Its a paranoid, hypochondriac in printed-paper form

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• chris
• cohen
• daily
• mail
• song
• comedy

[unreal030]

daily mail - the toilet paper that leaves more shit on you when you wipe with it

[spiderxjz]

Only just found your stuff, it's actually amazing.

[JessScott110]

nice ikea glasses i have the same ones ;)

[Rednilec]

I would love to get the cords for this song... Love it!

[niamhy888]

@thefloorisshiny SO DO I! :D

[thefloorisshiny]

I have the same glasses as you.

[eddiefoo1]

Advertising Weetos. Shame on you.

[verdigo1]

Ahh, this actually made me feel good. :D

[ciggies69]

for mum.

[Yammahoo]

It's only good for fish and chip paper--except it is too dirty to do that with!

[Yammahoo]

Hularious! Just Hularious! But sadly so true!!

[Legobricks5]

Haha nice :D

Have you got chords for this?

cheers

A x

[nowoolovermine]

How about a verse on them fucking up the the World Cup bid?

[nowoolovermine]

How about a verse on them fucking up the the World Cup bid?

[jebba95]

that is amazing and so true!!!!!!

[liam15200]

kl, u legend

[logiccomments]

And this means?????

[jadonx]

dead right- my M.I.L reads this paper and what grief we get when we visit. Its papers like this that convince the americans that the NHS is crap. Should be banned for turning people into morons!

[iamyoda3]

this guy is best out there for making up songs!

[60791]

Love it!

[Blongers1]

Look at the Daily Mails website, every single story is about a reality TV slut or actress. They constantly go on about paedo's whilst at the same time selling titilation on their website, they are the lowest of the lowest of the low.

[00Xander00]

WOW, I love the way its all put together, The bottles are really creative :D

[savvides1]

Why are the lyrics wrong on the side?

[MissVivaLaVieBohem]

LOL....the lyrics said "On Sunday kids who play videogames were more likely to watch porn"

And u said "On Sunday kids who play videogames will probibly work in porn"

That cracked me up! 2:28