Natural Love

When fighting about gay marriage, let's us henceforth avoid saying a lifelong bond between a man and woman is particularly "natural."

By Andy Cobb
http://twitter.com/#!/AndyCobb
Produced by Jeph Porter, Michael Damanskis, and Meghan O'Brien
http://twitter.com/#!/jephporter
http://twitter.com/#!/MikeDamanskis

It's true. They share 99 percent of our DNA, and they f like bunnies wish they could f when they're having f-ing contests.

Our closest living relatives are to f-ing what beavers are to building dams--specialists with a passion that looks a lot like pleasure. So, you rarely see our closest genetic relatives in zoos, their cages quickly deteriorate into a non-stop scat-enthusiast free-free-for-all f-fest that traumatizes children and seniors. That's God's Perfect Creature for you, untouched by culture.

These so-called "hippie chimps" reap all sorts of benefits from the practice of nonstop chimp f-ery in lieu of marriage. They don't have wars, they have strong familial bonds, and everybody gets laid.

So from now on, before you point a steely finger of judgment at another person's "naturalness," smell those fingers. Do they smell like the inside of another person? If not, you may need to be more natural.

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©2010 The Second City Inc./Andy Cobb

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Category:

• Comedy
• News

Starring:

• Andy Cobb

Directed by:

• Jeph Porter

Produced by:

• Jeph Porter
• Mike Damanskis

Written by:

• Andy Cobb

Tags:

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• marriage
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• homosexual
• natural
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• human

[PermitWinter]

Unnatural? Clearly, that's all the evidence needed to ban gay marriage. We as an advanced society reject anything not completely natural, such as eyeglasses, cars, and junk food. Honestly- when was the last time you saw an American with any of those ludicrous things?

[thedancingjessa]

@MicahUIC yup and only white people can be racist and only men can be sexist. dear god i hope you're a troll

[zetanato]

Actually we're more closely related to the "regular" chimpanzees that do not engage in the bonobo's crazy sexual escapades. Then again, they still aren't monogamous.

[WhyMex69x]

@damoser No problem retard, anytime :D

[damoser]

@WhyMex69x lol! thanks for reminding me of inconsequential comments from 5 months ago

[WhyMex69x]

@torisinift Dear Sir or Madam, i've used several F words during my journey through hypocrisy and ignorance, which one might you be referring to? As for your rant about sexuality, can you point out EXACTLY where i said being gay is within their control?

[WhyMex69x]

@damoser you're an idiot, good day.

[torisinift]

@WhyMex69x Dear Sir or Madam, Please do not use offensive language as the F word. People are born that way just as people are born with another skin color. I wouldn't use race as an insult, so please stop pretending sexuality, as mentioned above is a factor noone can control, is an insult. Thank you

[neomp5]

ALL marriage is unnatural!

[obcflife97]

This Sh*t is the F**king best!

[OddMyke]

Natural is only what your given physically and what you can do with it. And for millions of years animals of all species have used what they've been given to fuck males and females and others. The only difference between that and what the Politicus Stupidious call natural, is that the heterosexuals of history made our generation. But that doesn't mean you can't use what God gave you, so go and have a gay time you gays!