Giant Fortune Cookie Unwrapping And Taste Test Review

General Tsao, I would gladly fight under your leadership.
That man's food is so good, that it's worth dying for.

Packaging

I love the little box it comes in, almost as if the delivery guy came by and dropped it off from a real Chinese restaurant. I've always been plagued with the curse of never knowing how much to tip delivery guys. It's not like in a restaurant where you can easily tip the waiter some percentage of the bill. With a delivery guy, the amount of variables to account for is staggering. Not only do you have to factor in how much you ordered, but how far he had to carry it, where he's coming from, and (with some women) what you happen to be wearing at the time. I suppose if a fetching gal happens to drop her towel right when the guy walks up, a tip wouldn't seem so important. That turns even the stingiest man into a wannabe Casanova. I wonder if that same tactic works on other women though. It's always been a fact that women can "switch teams" a lot easier than men can. With guys, once you choose a side, you're pretty much there for life. Heck, I bet women who pull that trick probably get food for free. She might even give the delivery person a little wink, just to make him THINK he has a chance. Oh, those tip evading predators are vicious! I used to be a waiter myself and let me tell you, I've met some awfully interesting folks. Here's a few tips for those looking to get into the service industry. The most important one is making sure your appearance is spic and span. I was told several dozen times by my boss to get a haircut but I never did. I actually worked their until the end of the summer and I had to go back to school. But, I couldn't come back because my boss had already hired somebody else. Oddly enough, they hired a 20 year old girl who had hair longer than mine! I can't help but think there was some sort of conspiracy going down there. Maybe it's all in my head. For what it's worth, I would love to be a waiter again. You're essentially making twice as much money as a normal job. One stream from your employer (which is usually minimum wage) and the other stream in tips.

Ah, good times.

Taste, Texture, And Consistency

Fortune cookies have to be some of the most addictive treats on the face of the planet. It all has to do with their subtle sweetness. I've experienced this phenomenon in quite a few foods. Sometimes, when I'm eating one of those giant soft pretzels, I'll sense a tinge of sweetness. I'm almost certain it's all in my head seeing as how I never dipped them into any sauce. Regardless, it's a delightful fantasy to indulge in. But once you take that same subtle sweetness and cover it in the darkest of chocolate, then you've got a real beauty on your hands. I strongly believe everything in life can be made better by dipping it in chocolate or injecting it with hazelnut cream. A beautiful woman could be made even tastier with a bit of chocolate body butter smothered all over her. Though I would imagine breaking out a comically large syringe to inject the hazelnut cream would be a bit of a mood killer. If you guys are truly meant to be together, she'll embrace all your strange fetishes. I hope to find a girl out there who doesn't mind if I cover her in chopped up peanuts and caramel. At which point, I would eat her. Nahhhhhh, I'm just kidding.

........
Maybe.

Overall

The Chinese know how to pleasure my stomach and this treat is no different. I found myself eating half of it and coming back a few hours later to finish it off. I rarely ever do that with my goodies! Definitely worth picking up!

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• giant
• fortune
• cookie
• chinese
• food
• review
• chocolate
• reminds
• me
• of
• that
• LFO
• song
• where
• they
• talk
• about
• the
• summertime
• and
• how
• asian
• makes
• them
• sick
• also
• like
• girls
• who
• were
• abercrombie
• fitch
• though
• can't
• say
• share
• sentiment

[Nicksloan91]

Dude! You fucking rule. Subscribed bro! Subscribed.

[frickfrock999]

@Nicksloan91

:3

[alanabanana262]

Surely since you see a lot of duck dishes in Chinese restaurants that must mean Chinese people don't like ducks...

[frickfrock999]

@alanabanana262

This comment made my day. Thank you sir.

[NoobTamer]

Where can I get half the things you get?

[frickfrock999]

@NoobTamer

The interwebs!

I usually spend a good amount of time searching for strange and interesting treats to review.

[frickfrock999]

@ELGAPP0

You know how I like it.

Big and black.

[ELGAPP0]

That was one HUGE ass bite lol.

[TheThingme]

yum yum indeed.



[14greenboy14]

wasn't this on epic meal time?

[FujishimaAkiko]

Though I wonder how many actually know that the fortune cookie was not invented by the Chinese and many people in China have absolutely no clue what a fortune cookie is.. ^__^

[FujishimaAkiko]

Won't catch me paying 22 bucks +5 bucks for topping for a fortune cookie, albeit a giant one... I'll make my own, they're not hard to make.. lol.

[krssnoop]

Yum yum, thats it?

[raptordownloads]

Yum yum!