LSJUMB - WSU 2008 Halftime

Stanford vs. Washington State - 11/1/08
LSJUMB Halftime Show: Election 2008!

THE SCRIPT

Announcer: And Now back from stuffing ballot boxes in Florida and hacking voting machines in Ohio its TOTOTTILSJUMB!!!!

1. Sex and the Capital
Announcer: In preparation for Election Day, the TV networks have been betting big on some new TV Spin-offs capitalizing on Americas thirst for politics. HBO brings us its newest spin-off: Sex and the Capital. Four crazy cougars Hillary Clinton (the man-eater), Cindy McCain (the prude), Nancy Pelosi (the neurotic), and Michelle Obama (y'know... "that one") - gripe about relationships, drink cosmos, and do a LOT of shoe shopping. Its not TV its HBO!

Formation: Martini glass with lime

2. Golden Guys
Announcer: In a throwback, NBC brings us Golden Guys! Come along on this comedic romp with four AARP members living together in Boca Raton. Watch and laugh as youthful sexpot Bill Clinton chases everything in a skirt, Joe Biden works on his application to the Hair Club for men, elder statesman George H. W. Bush STILL doesn't want to eat broccoli, and wacky septuagenarian John McCain keeps getting lost in the backyard. Oh, those crazy kids!

Formation: GOLD → OLD!

3. CSI: Wasilla
Announcer: CBS expands on its most popular franchise with the all-new CSI: Wasilla! Hard-working state troopers solve diabolical murder mysteries in a small Alaskan town. Drama ensues when their rookie governor, played by Tina Fey, tries to fire them for their unorthodox crime solving tactics and the antagonistic relationship between the lead CSI and the governors sister. This ones definitely ripped from the headlines!

Formation: Police Car

4. King of the Hill
Announcer: The biggest new animated show coming to Fox Sunday Night is King of Capital Hill Dick, a propane salesman with a love of shotguns rises to become Vice President of the US. Watch as he shoots his friend in the face, swears at colleagues, and deletes his house from Google Maps... Wow! This show just writes itself.

Formation: HANK → HICK → DICK

5. The Fresh Prince of DC
Announcer: Wed like to tell you a little about the next show, but instead, well give you a little taste. Ladies and Gentleman- DJ Jazzy Joe and the Fresh Prince himself: Barack Obama!!!

Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped turned upside down
And Id like to take a minute just listen, see
About how I became the Prince of a town called DC.

In west Honolulu, born and raised
In a beach house is where I spent most of my days
Chillin out, Maxin, relaxin, all cool
Community organizin outside of the school
When a couple of guys- they were up to no good
Startin runnin attack ads in my neighborhood
I won one little race and my Mom got freaked
She said, you're moving with Joe Biden to Washington DC"

I whistled the limo and when it came near
The licence plate said Prez and Secret Service appeared
If anything, I could see this limod get wows
But I thought, hey, check it-
Yo Holmes, the White House!

I pulled up to Penn ave on January twenty
And yelled up to Dubya, I think weve had plenty
I looked at my kingdom, it was totally me
Yeah a black dude- The fresh prince of DC!

Formation: Microphone

Outro:
Announcer: Join us next time as we say goodbye to the greatest President a comedy writer could ever ask for. Youve been watching TOTOTTILSJUMB!

Category:

Comedy