turkey drop 2007

The First Turkey Drop 2007

A tripod fashioned of black iron pipe sported a release hook, from which a 14 lb fresh turkey with it's ass stuffed with ice cubes swung at about 5 ft above a furiously boiling cauldron of 450 deg plus peanut oil. With everyone circled about at a marginally safe distance, the anointed "Grand Pooh-Bah" of the turkey drop made a truly awful speech, led a mandatory group prayer, participatory chant, and countdown.... all glasses raised... where-upon the cord was given a nice pull by a cute little blonde girl, and the fat ice stuffed turkey, once released, plummeted downward swiftly engaging the boiling oil..... A white hot fireball, 20 to 30 ft in diameter lasting several seconds ascended into a wonderful mushroom cloud, 60 ft flames, and a mild pyroclastic out-flow that immediately enticed some screaming, further chanting and instantly increased everyone's thirst for more highly toxic beverages....

For years now, it has been drummed at me the deep fry turkey cooking rules and culture indicate a specific temperature etc.... some well educated friends whom became thoroughly annoyed upon hearing about my blasphemous ideas indicated my plan will only burn the outside of the turkey and the inside will not cook right... they further demanded that traditional turkey frying is a precise art not to be tinkered with... experimentation was limited to injected marinades and slow dipping rates. I risked enraging the one true redneck god (most commonly known as "Bud") who will bring his wrath upon me... this apparently was demonstrated not to be entirely true a year prior when the inspiration for this new annual celebration and modern way to rejoice thanksgiving was formed. When we discovered pragmatic ingestion of liquid Kryptonite gives one magical cooking powers and certain theological protections from being burned in the face of fire... cat's out of the bag... I recall the oil was overheated by mistake and the turkey was frozen... it still came out tasty but a tad black on the outside, just like the cook.

What was shown was ice brings the oil temperature down rather quickly while making a lasting impression on the observers. By using a fresh turkey stuffed with ice cubes, the art of turkey frying was regained after the first few minutes. Once the fire and intense radiation settled out we were able to move in, reset the pot to just off the fire, top off, and continue to cook the turkey at 350 deg for about 35 min and it came out crispy brown and exquisite! The splash was designed by experimentation with water and water jugs the day before for fill level and drop height to displace / blowout just the right amount of oil for proper post drop immersion and conflagration, but easy handling afterward. In fact, a week or two of engineering went into the gantry and accessories for the best match of culinary art and safety. Surprisingly, this entertainment instantly incinerated only a few gallons of cooking oil, less than $10 worth, and was a lot less expensive than fireworks.... Of course, the well placed video cameras filming the whole event provided the first responders with material for the Darwin awards...

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• turkey
• fire
• explosion
• party
• burn
• jackass
• dumbass
• fried
• disaster
• rednecks

[cocakid2]

All precautions taken.. in fact, 2 weeks of research on proper cooking of turkey's, and a week of engineering and testing went into this thing. It was inspired by all the money our friends had been spending on fireworks which the legal one's are generally lame. Much bigger explosion, much cheaper, very little oil wasted; in fact we dropped another turkey, and 5 chickens afterwards to feed everyone. Water hoses pre-stationed. Looks dangerous but not at all.

[cocakid2]

Grass comes back just fine. Only sin is it is not accepted institutionally ordained "safe" consumer oriented behavior all of us American "sheep" are being herded towards. More and more you gotta fight for your right to invent, do things on your own, innovate and party!!!!

[morningstomper123]

@cocakid2 I know I'm replying to a really old post, but just in case your try this again you should know that water is no good for putting out an oil fire. You said you had water hoses readied, but if you spray water on an oil fire it will simply spread the oil out. The fire will become larger and more intense.

[cocakid2]

@morningstomper123 we were putting out the grass fires that had started.... we just let the oil part burn itself out (we still had more food to cook!!)

[Aldaraia666]

The person recording this must've been pretty wasted to forget he was holding the camera sideways.

[hmcdaniel]

Learn how to hold a camera

[sideslide23]

turkey is a waste, use a big chunck of Ice Cube that would do a big job.

[extraguades]

die spinnen, die amis ...

[a1b2c31128]

WTF WTF WTF

[MrGrfs]

why is it side ways. retards!!!

[ensnared]

To determine the intelligence quotient of the participants, just look & listen. By the way, bravo to the cretin filming the incident.

[TKMissionPossible]

That's freakin awesome!!!

[johnarsher]

oh fantastic

[brendonian]

@cocakid2 The guy whose comment I was replying to :P

[cocakid2]

@brendonian who said it wasn't...the fun was the way it got cooked