As with my bird video, these flower pictures are but a fraction of what I have on my hard discs. In addition to the bird book closing chapter on my past, I busied myself building a small business creating postcards, note-cards, and other print items for sale.
I had links into the community, sales and customers, friends, hope, and so much joy. In June I wrote my son that it looked good for me to be back in Carolina by October, and I worked hard to make it happen.
In July a letter came. The great protector, the new Ma, said if I really wanted their love I might try relaxing and "be one of us" among other very cruel things. The letter was in part due to my communication with Ann Varney at 20/20 about uniting sisters. But their was more.
Besides all the nasty skeletons to be protected, one brother in particular was working to undermine all my efforts. he is paranoid schizophrenic and on serious medication. Sadly his medication, and his new found religious fanaticism did not prevent his own delusions of me as the enemy. In 2006 he had stated to my sister that he believed it was the "Browns" (the "family" who was out to destroy him) who had brought me to Albion. NY and they would stop at nothing to destroy all he cared for. He accused me once before of being "one of them" in 1994 when we were hiking the Appalachian Trail with another sister.
In light of this it appalls me that he was the main supplier of information from my sister's house out to family, townspeople, anyone and everyone he could convince. Yet the powers that be in the family would not talk directly to me.
Why? I did not matter.
A few of the lies that were out there:
I run around slamming doors and throwing things.
I was mooching.
I destroyed the family (really?!)
I was guilty of elder abuse of my sister.
I am seriously bi-polar, delusional, dangerous, suicidal.
For these reasons lets all get together and go pull her out of there (my sisters house) That by the way was in the days following my sister Valeries death.
Bi-polars make claims of childhood incest, thats what they do.
What? I am Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and perhaps a tad bi-polar, but do bi-polars make false claims of childhood incest? Interesting theory, it goes a long ways towards protecting sex offenders in the family so they may re-offend.
There was no reason for these people, my own family, to set upon me like that other than that I broke their rules of loyalty to the family.
I am not the first to speak up and get my heart torn out. I wont be the last. And I will not go quietly into the fog of yesterdays and vegetate. Nor will I bravely walk away to martyrdom in exile. I was headed for North Carolina and my children and grandchildren before they railroaded me, which makes their victory shortsighted at best. The fact that I am now more vocal than before makes their victory a complete loss. They drew all their forces together and managed nothing more than the strengthening of my resolve to continue speaking out.
Consider this: My brothers, and their righteous protectors, are concerned that their skeletons will dance too loudly in the breeze from my free speech. So concerned that it was a topic for discussion in the hours after my sisters memorial service.
It has been said that I might try forgiveness. Would they hear me? Would they accept it? No. Nor will they feel remorse, and the need to shut me up would remain.
I do not hate my family, nor am I angry or even hurt by their hate and meanness. Nor will I sit here and curse and blame them for the overwhelming re-abuse heaped on me.
I will, however, state my case.
Revenge? Not on your life! Millions of people suffer the injustice of the same family systems as mine. The tale must be told.
I begged them to hear me out.
I told them I am not five anymore.
I told them my bite was worse than my bark.
I did not ask for understanding, agreement, or love.
I asked to be accepted as I am and allowed to live MY life as part of the family.
This has been the result. A double solid line drawn by them to put and keep me where I belong.
Thank you Incest Family System for drawing the lines. It was not quite clear to me before.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
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My Sister Passed Away A Survivor of Incest: Part Oneby janeeniegranniebebop1,411 views
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