The "Amazing" Zorpan is an enigmatic figure in the dark halls of magic. He's a world renown daredevil, with a foolhardy and almost absentminded disregard for life and limb. Zorpan's reckless audacity in the face of danger is disconcerting to say the least. What occurred in the past of this maniacal entertainer to lead him to attempt such impossibly futile and death defying feats of absurdity?
One popular, but unauthorized, biography entitled "Zorpan, Daredevil of the Avant-Gard" maintains Zorpan is the last in an ancient line of Hungarian Occultists. He is a gifted reader of palms and tea leaves, has the ability to breathe underwater, and communes with the spirits of the dead. Zorpan lives in a villa high in the Italian alps, sleeps on a bed of nails, and adheres to a strict diet of roasted song birds. Although he has, at last count, 16 wives scattered around the world, his closest "companion" is his peruvian manservant Arturo.
Another biographer, Dr. Darius Uccello, in his book "The Madman's Circus," claims Zorpan is the inbred son of transient carnival folk. He was abandoned at the age of 7 in the bayous of Louisiana. Young Zorpan was adopted by a local Voodoo Priestess, and became skilled at wrestling alligators, piloting fan boats, and guessing people's weight. At the age of 20, he set out to find his real parents, a search that nearly destroyed him. In a bar fight in Alaska, a man took out Zorpan's right eye with an ice pick. His assailant turned out to be Zorpan's own father. The glass eye Zorpan now wears once belonged to Mary Todd Lincoln.
Some personal letters uncovered by historian Jacques St. Germaine in a flea market Prague, paint a startling new portrait of this quizzical figure. At the age of 9, Zorpan, son of a cheese merchant, was abducted by a blind magician and knife thrower, and was forced become his apprentice. With his new master, he toured Europe, Asia, and the Americas, and performed for Kings and Heads of State. After many years of cruelty, Zorpan's Master was found dead, with his throat slit ear to ear, in a opium den in Calcutta. Zorpan himself claimed to have no knowledge of this incident, as he was sleeping off a three week drunk in a Vancouver jail cell. He continued performing, this time on his own, for the most powerful and prestigious audiences around the world. The "Amazing" Zorpan's genius as a performer is matched only by his pure insanity, perhaps brought about by his addiction to a cocktail he refers to as "The Elixir" (3 oz. Bathtub Absinthe, 4 oz. Cough Syrup, 1 oz. Abyssinian Opium, and 2 oz. Benzene, an industrial solvent).
The strangest story to date, comes from a man named Jeff Wilson from Erie, Pennsylvania makes the erroneous claim that Zorpan is actually an incompetent madman. This man says The "Amazing" Zorpan is actually his cousin Leroy, a former carpet salesman, and father of three. His bizarre and hopelessly unachievable stunts, are inspired by madness brought about by untreated syphilis, which he contracted during a business trip to Sandusky, Ohio.
Who is The "Amazing" Zorpan? Magian and Master of Arcane Lore? An Abused and Tragic Entertainer? Or a Drug Addled Accident Prone Syphilitic Madman? Be careful what you ask as the truth may be even more disturbing than we think...
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REAL MEN OF GENIUS - MR. PIECE OF S*** OHIO STATE FANby MICHFAN5524,685 views
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TheGamerFromMars 1 year ago
Wow...are you serious? lol
eviltwinboy 2 years ago
wat
gunnerwolf 3 years ago
How the shit
19emmet 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
what the fuck..................... FUCKIN FAKE!
xxwhitespadesxx 4 years ago
wow this is like sooooo reatarded wtf is this crap
shortygabs 4 years ago
Nice. May 7th...where have I been? lol too many tarot readings!
Chitownfcko 4 years ago
well then..... i guess that was alright
brayden12345 4 years ago
Amazing!!! as usual, but zorpan needs to polish his act.lol
keep it up dudes
permy1 4 years ago 2
I like! Thumbs up! (Y)
Angelati 4 years ago