Chair the Creationists answers your emails! #2

If you'd like to send a question to Chair, please write it in the comments section!

Transcription;
Dear Chair the Creationist,

Since you are so opposed to homosexuality, I certainly hope that is a woman who is fisting you...

signed bushputz

Okay, well Bushputz, first off, thanks for breaking the fourth wall ya jerk. No, that is not a womens hand thats inside me. However, Im as straight as a conservative preacher can come. Like Ted Haggard, I am a straight chair struggling with a homosexuality problem. Honestly, Satan has his hand so far up my upholstery that I couldnt imagine him taking it out, unless he was gonna put it back in, and out, in. AHHH! Bad Dobby, Bad Dobby!

moving along, next question
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Dr. Talking chair with teeth,

Hi! First of all I just wanted to say that I love your show. Thanks. Some things I like are puppies and kittens but NOT FAGOTS! What I can I do to turn gay people not gay? I think I'd like to be their friends its just that - you know - I don't want them all hitting on me at school.

-Angry in Wisconsin (age 12)

Well, the Bible doesnt say to make gay men straight, lets read (Leviticus 20:13).

"If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them"

The Bible says to kill them. Anyway, that should answer that, NEXT!

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Where did the salt come from then?!? Answer this you coward!!!

love, VoteNixon2008

Ah, this must be in response to my last video where I explained that most of the Earths water is undrinkable because when Adam and Eve ate the apple of wisdom, they started peeing salty water. This filled the oceans with salt.

The salt came from God, of course. Our Holy Lord filled Adam and Eves bladders with Holy Salts. God said to them, Thou art salty, and thats how we know that Adam and Eve were white people.

Well, thats all the time I have for this week! Please leave your questions in the comments, if they get on my show, Ill leave ya a post or something. BYE!

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• chair
• the
• creationist
• evolution
• bushputz
• VoteNixon2008
• adam
• eve
• homosexuality
• ted
• haggard

[TheKilgoretrout]

"If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman Does this mean that lesbianism is okay? I have read some pagan religions to have both male and female prostitutes and that is what is referred to not homosexuality as such.

[CHAS1422]

I've heard a rumor that you'll let anyone sit on your face: man, woman or even dogs and cats. Is this something you condone?

[VoteNixon2008]

Chair you are as fruity as a vanilla moose parfait!

[bushputz]

I sincerely apologize for breaking the illusion. I have no doubt that you are every last bit as straight as Ted Haggard....or...Larry Craig...