Traditional family Christmas argument - Helen Arney & Paul Richards

Bandcamp: http://helenarney.bandcamp.com/album/its-going-to-be-an-awkward-christmas-dar...
iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/its-going-to-be-awkward-christmas/id407044522
Play.com, Amazon.co.uk, HMV.com, and all other major online stores.

Taken from "It's going to be an awkward Christmas, darling"

All songs (c) Helen Arney & Paul Richards, performed by Helen Arney, Paul Richards and Martin Randle.

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Holly berries glisten in the snow
Robins hop and chirp outside the window
Stars light up the celestial firmament
The real meaning of Christmas is a family argument

On their best behaviour, no arguments all day yeah,
Christmas Day's been fraught, tempers running short
Who's going to burst, who'll blow a fuse first?
The lights on tree, or a member of the family?

Holly berries glisten in the snow
Robins hop and chirp outside the window
Stars light up the celestial firmament
The real meaning of Christmas is a good old traditional family argument

Mother, father, uncle start a bet
On when Grandpa will leave
And let them get on with their Christmas day without him getting in the way

They think that he's dozing full of Eat Me Dates
But he had one ear open to their sweepstake
Grandpa says "I'll put on a tenner, on me not leaving 'til September"

Holly berries glisten in the snow
Robins hop and chirp outside the window
Stars light up the celestial firmament
The real meaning of Christmas is a good old traditional
Unprovoked and all inclusive family argument

Father mutters all he wants from Santa Claus, is a quick divorce (quick divorce)
Mother sobs how could our Christmas bliss, have come to this? (come to this)
Uncle Jerry says forget peace and goodwill, I'm gonna kill (gonna kill)
Grandpa arms himself with mistletoe, thinks this'll blow (this'll blow)

"At Christmas play and make good cheer, For Christmas comes but once a year" (Thomas Tusser)

Holly berries moulder in the snow
Robins screech and peck outside the window
Snow clouds hide the celestial firmament
The real meaning of Christmas is
A good old traditional
Sherry-flowing, turkey-throwing
Mind-bending, never ending
Present wrapping, spirit sapping
Carol singing, bauble flinging,
Deck the halls with confrontation
Anger and recrimination
Good old traditional
Completely unconditional
Unprovoked and all inclusive family argument

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• helen
• arney
• paul
• richards
• funny
• christmas
• family
• holidays
• argument
• holiday
• festive
• slade
• wizzard