whoring for hanukkah

Get the MP3 at
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Whoring-For-Hanukkah/dp/B002YPSPA6
ITunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/whoring-for-hanukkah/id342665819

Whoring For Hanukkah by Fannie and Freddie
Written by Emily Zisman & Ryan Avery
Vocals - Emily Zisman
Violin - Ryan Avery

Come sit by my fire, as I tell a fervent tale of a certain Hungarian immigrant Jew.
The market crashed, I was laid off. My stocks were in the red.
How could I tell my little boy that Hanukkah was dead?
For years I climbed the ladder to to the top of Fannie Mae
But now just to kindle our Menorah, it's with my fanny that I pay.

Whoring for Hanukkah, eight crazy nights.
Instead of lighting candles, we are turning out the lights.
I thought the streets would be a trial, but as I see it's not so bad.
Cause now, unlike at Fannie Mae, there's so much work here to be had.

After crying through the night, I heard a knock upon my door.
It was my neighbor wanting sugar, but he would soon get so much more.
I said I needed gelt for poor Levi's holy socks.
He said I never give any charity. I said "who said anything about charity"?

Whoring for Hanukkah, 8 crazy nights
Instead of lighting candles, we are turning out the lights.
I was anxious, I was clumsy, but I guess I did alright.
Cause Levi has a fresh pair, for 40 days and 40 nights.

The second night I went to work to clear my desk and lock up tight.
My former boss reminded me I was still on the payroll for one last night.
Wednesday was at the PTA, Mr. Johnston dropped a bomb.
Little Levi's been a naughty boy. I wonder where he gets that from?

Whoring for Hanukkah, 8 crazy nights
Instead of lighting candles, we are turning out the lights.
My boss gave me a big fat raise, the teacher was too kind.
My Levi has two brand-new trucks, and I have a sore behind.

My guilty thoughts were weighing me, I had to cleanse my soul.
I went to Rabbi Itzhak, and this is what I was told.
"What you're doing is a mitzvah, there's nothing wrong with giving dear.
It's what we do for Hanukkah, each and every year."

Well, mitzvah is as mitzvah does, And he has cash in hand.
Though we didn't leave his office, I took him to the holy land.

Friday I called my four ex-husbands of the Apocalypse,
at first they didn't buy it, but after a bottle of Manischewitz.
I wanted them to take their turns, so there wouldn't be a fight.
But they said, "you're meshugga, doing it behind our backs wouldn't be polite."

Whoring for Hanukkah, 8 crazy nights
Instead of lighting candles, we are turning out the lights.
Whoring for Hanukkah, 8 crazy nights
what wouldn't any Jewish mother do for the festival of lights?

Now Levi's set, the week is done, we have all that we desire.
But with so many needy children, how could I possibly retire?

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• hanukkah
• chanukah
• humor
• holiday
• music
• gypsy
• violin
• rabbi
• hungarian
• immigrant
• christmas
• winter
• song
• funny
• tune
• hungary
• hanukah
• hannukah
• hanuka
• hanaka

[shmuli9]

This is amusing. I'm one of those high-class German Jews whose father married a Catholic shiska ('yaw, ikh kenn Yeed zehr gut") , but this makes me laugh... Is this a spoof of Connie Francis singing "A yiddishe moma"?

[ryanavery]

@shmuli9 I hadn't ever heard the song before, but there's definitely a similarity! We were just parodying the standard Gypsy sound from Eastern Europe. Glad it made you laugh!

[tranq45]

Wow! You went to a lot of work to find all these excellent old clips. Well done!

[ryanavery]

Once I found the reaction shots I was looking for for the main gags, it was fairly easy to place the rest in. Thanks!

[emilyzisman]

this is a great video. well done!

[ryanavery]

Once the actual music video is done, I think it'll look great.

[nujerusalem]

Awesome vid! Loved it :)

[clones98]

Hi Ryan - Freddie and you did a nice job - you are no doubt the most accomplished person from ABSM! - I wish you continued success!

[Pacmandarin]

I have to say the song's great, it really brings out the tragic self-satire of yiddish culture. but the video clips are terrible and make it a bit wrong.

[Getlin2]

Disgusting. Not even good satire.

[ideagirlconsulting]

hilarious!