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Hanks For Nothing (Chet Haze's Tom Hanks Diss Track)

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Uploaded on Jan 20, 2011

If Chet Haze, rapper son of Tom Hanks, recorded a diss track to his father, we think it'd go something like this.

Lyrics and vocals: Jason Newman
Production: Edgar Vicioso
More info: http://www.urlesque.com/2011/01/21/ch...

So I'ma go and make a Big Splash, dad, Catch Me If You Can
This ain't no Toy Story, pops, watch ya son become a man
And now the other Hanks is gunnin' for the throne
Volunteers'll hear my rhymes and say they in A League of Their Own
So from here to Philadelphia, no wack MC can battle
They're my cattle
When I'm leaving cats all Sleepless in Seattle
You a has-been, dad, just waitin for ya to retire
And watch DJs turn this track into a dope Radio Flyer
Yeah, it's obvious that you is just a chump
You hump
I run this game cross-country, call me hip-hop's Forrest Gump.
Your whole career's a Punchline, I don't need Da Vinci Code
To decipher that Joe Versus the Volcano friggin' blowed
And while I'm with my frat boys on the quest for some cooch
You memorizing all the garbage scenes from Turner and Hooch
Yeah, I roll with The Ladykillers who down Cuervo and Bacardi
Higher than Apollo 13, it's a nonstop Bachelor Party
Chet Haze is always bombin', stomach fillin' up on Ramen,
Besides living in The 'Burbs, you and me got Nothing in Common
On the outside, you beamin'
On the inside, I'm screamin'
You need to walk The Green Mile to see Angels & Demons
You just a maggot
My lyrics you can't even handle these
Bombin more than Dragnet or Bonfire of the Vanities
You've Got Mail: A letter from your son who finished cryin'
When his dad abandoned him and started Saving Private Ryan
It's on, pops
Ain't gonna stop until you're Terminal
Like The Polar Express, your life's a mess and indiscernible
Chet Haze comin' at ya, I thought y'all knew
Spyin on emcees like that Man with One Red Shoe
Yeah, you did a baseball movie, but hip-hop's my only pastime
Every Time We Say Goodbye I'm hoping it's the last time
Your life's a Money Pit, Maybe it's time to refurnish
Our battle making Charlie Wilson's War look like a minor skirmish
Now I'm stuck in Evanston, writin' rhymes that's crazy phat
And no one saw The Great Buck Howard, your other son couldn't save that
Yeah, I chopped it up with Colin
He Knows You're Alone
Tell everybody 'bout That Thing You Do when we were at home
You make me pay my own tuition? They should put you away
Get on the Road to Perdition so your ass is Cast Away

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