Narcissistic Defences and Personality

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Uploaded by on Dec 22, 2010

Everything you Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html

Narcissism is fundamentally an evolved version of the psychological defence mechanism known as splitting. The narcissist does not regard people, situations, entities (political parties, countries, races, his workplace) as a compound of good and bad elements. He is an "all or nothing" primitive "machine" (a common metaphor among narcissists).

He either idealises his objects or devalues them. At any given time, the objects are either all good or all bad. The bad attributes are always projected, displaced, or otherwise externalised. The good ones are internalised in order to support the inflated ("grandiose") self-concepts of the narcissist and his grandiose fantasies and to avoid the pain of deflation and disillusionment.

The narcissist's earnestness and his (apparent) sincerity make people wonder whether he is simply detached from reality, unable to appraise it properly or willingly and knowingly distorts reality and reinterprets it, subjecting it to his self-imposed censorship. The truth is somewhere in between: the narcissist is dimly aware of the implausibility of his own constructions. He has not lost touch with reality. He is just less scrupulous in remoulding it and in ignoring its uncomfortable angles.

(From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 2 DVDs with 12 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)

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  • can a mother dying when a child is young cause a man to become a narcissist? I know a man (my ex) who seems to come and go and very manipulative , a bit of a loner too

  • thank you. a fascinating, complex & eloquent explanation. will watch several times &/or get your book & mark it up with my mechanical pencil!:) had no idea of moving parts of delusion, supposed earnestness & censorship. i battle my own temptations to remove 'uncomfortable angles', lol. thank you very much for this.

  • Very interesting subject matter but a little lacking on the anecdotal for my tastes.

    I think you have a lot of knowledge of this - I would just ask for a few more stories :)

  • I am still trying to figure out my ex. I considered him to be a Narcissist. I also have thought that perhaps he simply has Asperger Syndrome. It's hard to tell. Either way, our relationship doesn't work long term. It broke my heart.

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