Visting the Family Grave - Japan Ohakamairi

Come join my wife's family and I as we visit the family grave to pay our respects to departed members of the Suzuki clan. The tradition of visiting the graves of the ancestors is called ohakamairi in Japanese.

After death, Japanese people are commonly cremated and their ashes interred in a common grave with a single marker stone representing the entire family. These graves are typically located on the grounds of a Buddhist temple to which the family are members. The names of those interred are carved upon the stone along with posthumous names which are given to the deceased by a priest. The family crest (mon) is usually visible on the monument as well as various accessories such as flower vases and incense burners which are used when visiting family members offer prayers.

An important part of ohakamairi is the ritual cleaning of the marker stones, and buckets, brushes and water are supplied by the temple for this purpose. Temple staff will commonly remove and dispose of old and wilting flowers.

Buddhist tradition includes detailed and complex rituals for remembering the dead which can go on for years after the departed have been interred. The memory of the dead is also kept at home through the use of special home Buddhist altars called butsudan. Traditional Japanese families will normally attend to the Butsudan on a daily basis while visits to the Buddhist temple graveyard are less regular. The most significant grave visiting ceremony in Japan is during the Obon season in summer when entire communities come together to enjoy festivals in remembrance of the dead.

Category:

Travel & Events

Tags:

• Japan
• Japanese
• ohakamairi
• visiting
• family
• grave
• Tokaido
• Softypapa

[SpreadMyWings247]

Why do they touch the water between the vases before they pray? To cleanse or...?

[softypapa]

@SpreadMyWings247 You have a very good eye for detail! This is actually just a ritual my wife's family does. The tradition started with my father-in-law and now everyone does it though I suspect none (including me) other than my father-in-law have any idea about the reason. Thanks for watching. Have a great day! ~Kurt :-)

[HarpSama]

I have never seen anything like this before. Real nice vid.

[softypapa]

@HarpSama I'm happy you found this video interesting. Thank you for letting me know. ~Kurt :-)

[Sunkan86]

I had premade assumptions before watching this video since I thought that visiting a graveyard would be a very serious matter but I'm glad the video came out in such a brilliant way! Very well put together and all the fun bits in there were really charming too!

ご家族の幸福を祈ります！：）

[softypapa]

@Sunkan86 I'm so glad you found this video interesting and that it was able to help give a more approachable picture of what Japan grave visits are really like (at least for some families). ~Kurt :-)

[Mystek23]

Wonderful video Kurt, keep them coming!

[firzen711]

beautiful tradition

[MiahTwilight]

That one advantage Japanese and other cultures have, they have a connection to their past. They remember their ancestors. Sadly most people in the US forget after a few generation. Even my own parents only know a little about their grandparents, or great grandparents.

[SaintLouisX]

Haha, Emily's wearing Heelys?

[ginabanadab]

what sect are your wives family members of? if thats not too personal, just curious

[akinasukizakura]

水鉢の水を葉ですくって3度かけるんだね。

私の先祖の墓ではやったことない。

うちは曹洞宗だけど、宗派の違いなのかな？

単にウチがやり方を知らなかっただけなのかな？

湯のみ茶碗にお茶入れて出すけど。

[fuzzypaws17]

Every year I go back to Japan to celebrate Obon and visit my wife's grave. Is it in August in your part of Japan as it is in Hokkaido? I know some parts of Japan celebrate at different times.

[Pinkspiderable]

So very beautiful, life is indeed worth living.

[cinecyclist]

Unagi: my favorite Nippon ryori!