After the Beginning - Pt 1

I have long procrastinated in making this video, but I believe that today, my one year SRS anniversary, is perhaps the day to release it (it has been over a week in the making owing to the need to search for photographs).

This picks up where "Beginning" left off and begins the recounting of my teenage years, of my blind and confused journey to adulthood, and of the paths almost taken. In this first part I learned how powerful a thing Gender Dysphoria is and how difficult it was to keep hidden behind the walls that I was frantically creating.

Certainly many of the moments recalled here could be looked at from the perspective of "what if," but I refuse to enter that trap, though I freely admit that much of this was painful for me.

Part 1 of 3.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• trans
• transsexual
• transgender
• teen
• years
• teenager
• growing
• pains
• photographs
• confused
• cross
• dressing
• GID
• gender
• dysphoria

[YaYaJuke]

i see a beautiful soul in the picture... i wish we were in high school together ... i imagine we would have been good friends... i was born in 1961.... when were your born? no matter... just hugs and happiness from yaya

[meldenphire]

1959.

And someone like you as a friend in high school would have been absolutely wonderful. I'm glad to know you now.

Hugs from me, Christina

[Neferkit]

I love you, girl!

[meldenphire]

All my love back. Thank you. Christina

[GrannyMaesPlace]

Such a Heart Felt Story Christina, you were such a beautfiul child and I could see the pain in your eyes also.

Huggs

[meldenphire]

Thank you so much, Diana.  I guess that since I am putting myself out there by discussing trans issues at all that I should open up about what happened because so many people seem to take comfort in knowing that others went through similar experiences, many worse than mine, I'm sure.

Too, I'm hoping to do a lot better with the whole closure concept, though I know it never fades entirely. Hugs, Christina

[nicanewnew]

You're welcome, Christina.

[meldenphire]

Oh, thank you, Erica. Yes, I could write the book on what DOESN'T work. You were so right in your video when you compared what we go through with soldiers coming back from war. Too, at least with my family, I turned out to also be the collateral damage.

Of course, I am so happy now that I did survive because I met you and you are such a wonderful friend. Much love, Christina

[meldenphire]

Thank you so much. I just want people to know that they aren't alone, that I went through the pain also, and that it is possible to survive and go on.

Yes, flash cubes were expensive, especially when you consider that you had to keep buying them.

Again, Trish, thank you. It has taken me all these years to find the understanding that I wanted so desperately then. Hugs, Christina

[justplainerica]

Hi Christina! Hmmm... many times that's what we do, trying to seek out someone or something that will "make me a man", doesn't work. I think it's because deep down, what we're really looking for is something that will make the pain of GID go away. What if scenarios... I know what you mean, hard not to be trapped in them, though they make great novels, and only that. I remember flash cubes too! It's a miracle you survived it all, I'm kinda happy you did. Huggs and much love, Erica :)