Cellist and hand dystonic syndrome

I started noticing tension and coordination problems with my right hand and arm in 2003 when I went back to school for a graduate music performance degree. The initial problem I thought was due to playing with too much tension. I became very focused on trying to make my technique as perfect as possible in order to reduce the tension as well as play as perfectly as I could. Over time the tension simply became greater and greater until in 2010 I started to notice that my fingers seemed to move randomly with a mind of their own and would cramp making playing impossible.

I eventually was diagnosed with focal dystonia by a well-known performing arts clinic. Their recommendation was to learn Braille and to try botox. I admit to being frustrated with the idea of learning Braille since I didn't think that would be effective. I was at first tempted to try Botox, but after reading more about it and noticing that musicians who had used it did not recover I decided not to risk it.

I started reading various forums on the internet where I found that many people had experienced complete recovery. This is how I became acquainted with Joaquin Fabra. I decided to start working with him in September of 2010.

From the first meeting with Joaquin I experienced positive results. This proved to me that this problem could be solved and was NOT incurable. I experienced many ups and downs during my time with Joaquin as I began to understand the problem and its cause. It took me many months to fully understand his message. It had taken me years to develop the emotional patterns and I should have known right from the start that it would take time to change them.

Over time I began to realize how negative I felt about the instrument. I had so many conflicting emotions surrounding playing and being a musician. I realized that whenever I sat down to play I was filled with expectations and negative thoughts. I began to focus on being a person, not a cellist, but a person who is just happy to be alive. The more I did this the more the dystonic movements began to reduce and the more clear the correct technique became.

I practiced this technique of changing my emotion in my daily life, away from the cello. I began to see how the same emotions and thoughts that caused me trouble when playing were affecting my life. I had to put a lot of effort into changing my emotions as I would often feel the temptation to return to my negative way of feeling. I practiced this way of thinking every waking moment. When I would start to feel the pull of negative emotions and thoughts I would consciously force myself to change the emotion to one of positivity and lightness. It definitely took practice and deep commitment.

Before my work with Joaquin I could barely write without my hand cramping up. I couldn't hold a drinking glass and I could barely hold a cello bow. I was quick to anger and felt great frustration often in life. Although I still have a way to go to play 100% normally I am playing so much better and with so much more enjoyment than in the past. I am no longer at the mercy of negative emotions, my happiness doesn't depend on a single source. I am positive that in time and with enough practice this problem will be behind me and I will once again be a fully healthy person.

Category:

Music

Tags:

• focal
• hand
• dystonia
• distonia
• mano
• dystonic
• syndrome
• sindrome
• distónico
• musico
• musician
• trastorno
• movimiento
• movement
• disorder
• enfermedad
• rara
• rare
• illness
• violin
• violoncello
• cuerda
• string
• instrument
• instrumento
• stress
• actividad
• motora
• motor
• activity
• Classical