Trying to stay stable

Sorry for the sea-sickness effect of wobbly camera holding.

I'm just having a bit of a chat to whoever is watching! Feel free to chat back =)

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• overdose
• cutting
• stitches
• scars
• laxative abuse
• drud abuse

[anawings]

So true about the BDD kicking in stronger at lower weights~ I am experiencing the exact same thing and the scary thing is the lower in wt I get the fatter I feel. At my lowest I could not see how sick I looked. It makes it difficult when what you see feels so real. My head tells me ppl are looking at me coz i am fat and ugly, not because i am too thin. When the brain is malnourished it distorts our view of ourselves more than if we were at a healthy weight therfere its all LIES! XX

[painfulsoulbleeding]

I'm sorry you're also having a tough time, Chelsea. Have you got much support?

At my lowest weight I couldn't see how ill I was either. However, looking back at the photos, I can see it now. The ED voice in my head tells me I'm so fat compared to those really ill times.

*It's all a lie. We have to fight hard against the false promises and body distortions of ED*

Lots of love and hugs,

Claire

xxx

[peppernme]

I can't tell you how many times, I've just let Mya out in the yard instead of walking her. Don't put yourself down for that. She knows you love her, and she thinks you're beautiful, no matter what!

I'm always convinced people are looking at me when I'm driving or at a stop light too, so I try to put my hand up to cover my face. It's ridiculous! We need to be braver - BOTH of us.

[painfulsoulbleeding]

That makes me feel better that I'm not the only one who doesn't *always* go for long doggie walks!

I'm sorry you can relate to the hiding from others - it's horrible to feel so self conscious and (with me, anyway), self loathing.

I will try to be braver. I'll let you know how I get on!

[ida2x]

If people do look at you, it is probably because you are very very pretty.I wish I looked like you! I have the same diagnosis,all of them really plus two more,and I feel so sad when I see your clips and you don't seem to get any help. I hope you find some kind of useful treatment soon,don't give in to despair just yet.Have you been offered DBT? It's supposed to be good for BDP but doesn't work for everyone.I haven't really tried it cos the therapist had a stroke and the group was dissolved.

[anawings]

I hope you get funding Claire. Hang in there. I can definetely relate to blue lips and extremities~even in summer. I am so sensitive to the cold especially in winter. I think my pychiatrist has used that analogy aswell hahaha I cant believe they compare this illness to that really. I so know what u mean about not just getting your weight up because then it makes other behaviours worse. Its a difficult thing to balance. xxx

Please keep fighting. Love chelsea x

[powerkitemad]

I can totally relate to the numbing effect of pain killers and ed - hang in there and try to stay strong.

[misstiggykins]

Sending you love Claire.... I know how tough things are and can be. I'm struggling right now with physical illness and part of me thinks 'why bother eating'? The truth of the matter is that I always feel better not eating than eating. I have to force myself to do it at the moment. I have to look longer term and have faith that things will be better, even though it doesn't feel that way at present...

Take care....

xxxxx

[peppernme]

Not much going on with me. My binge eating is horrible now, but i've gone to three OA meetings so far, so I'm still trying, I guess.

Question: What can you do to have fun today, or at least make you smile?

[peppernme]

That is so like me. I used to be worse, but I still try to look down or away when people pass me when walking. Then someone told me I looked creepy, so I try not to do it. Plus, usually someone is looking at my DOG, not me.