Processing anorexic thoughts

Originally I wrote "Wow, that felt good" but shortly after I had a SLIP up and THREW UP. Crap, being honest here. You win some, you lose some but you always can learn from them.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• anorexia
• nervosa
• eating
• disorders
• complexity
• brain
• thoughts
• binge
• purge
• bulimia
• restriction
• distraction
• self
• help
• food

[SexciiShar]

actually saying this... i dont really trust people anymore.. and i usually keep everything inside to myself and just smile and pretend things are fine.. i kind of just ignore it.. and... the guy i was seeing is really smart.. and he just brought me to realize.. im living in a bubble.. i imagine things and pretend things are good when things are not. wtvr i feel messed up but i feel sort of better, atleast im slowly realizing whats going on..

[MyOwnStickFigure]

I read all your comment. I want you to sit back for a second and consider the possibility that he did not force you to eat, you forced yourself to eat with him as an influence to eat. This means that YOU are the one who made a LOGICAL decision to eat and YOU DESERVE the credit for this. Do you acknowledge this? I do. I think it's great progress. You are also processing, here, and that is progress too. Also, breakfast will give you brain power to start your day and think clear throughout the day

[MyOwnStickFigure]

If you can allow yourself something small that won't distent your stomach to a point that is going to trigger you, please try it and see if you can include a meal in at breakfast hour, even if just a mini meal. I don't know what your "safe foods" are but a meal that is based on a quality whole grain complex carb or quality protein source will help give you some balance. The more you go on the day running on empty the more price you will pay... I've learned this one, big time.

[fatboy135lbs]

any helps on this stuff iv been doing it for awial can i seem i cant control. its every day now i cant stop it or control it

[MyOwnStickFigure]

What exactly are you doing that you feel you can't stop?

[fatboy135lbs]

from depressoin and things that happen to me when i was 11-16 i was rapped lifes not wut i thougt it was

[MyOwnStickFigure]

It's not your fault. The fact of the matter is you are a survivor. I hope you seek help and pick up life. It does not have to be this way dear. HUGS

[weeaandy]

@MyOwnStickFigure you should try to eat some more man i know it must be hard for you but yeah jesus is with you =D

[madlynda]

how are you doin, i hope you are well, i think about you cos i was in your shoes some years ago and i know how hard it can be , take care, luv lynda xx

[fatboy135lbs]

well i got sick of life so i thougt ill go down slow

[SexciiShar]

i dont know anymore

[SexciiShar]

and he forced me to eat.. and i had a hard time taking in the food.. i took small bites.. and then my stomach felt even worst and it was grumbling really loud and he was like your body is making noise because yoru hungry.. and i just told him wtvr i wasnt feeling well or wtvr i ate half my plate and told him i was full.. but now when i go over he forces me to eat lol.. i guess he cares.. but its hard for me sometimes to eat because ive always felt fat and ugly.. wow hoinestly cant believe im