"At the Theatre" by A P Herbert (poetry reading)

A P Herbert was an interesting man who made his name successfully in least three different careers: law, politics and writing: he wrote poetry, novels and plays; he often contributed humorous articles to Punch Magazine.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A._P._Herbert

Wills' Cigarettes enclosed collectable cards within their packets, a ruse to promote brand-loyalty. Many famous people appeared on cigarette cards. This one shown was issued in the late 1930's.

Here's A P Herbert's maiden speech in the commons. He's declares that he will change the Divorce Laws to provide for other grounds than adultery - which he eventually succeeds in doing:

"I have in my hand a Bill which I am ready to introduce next Friday, or on the Friday after, or on all the Fridays, until it is passed into law; and I swear that it shall be passed before this Parliament is over. I must remind them that all the serious politicians laughed when I disclosed my obscene designs upon my almost virgin University.

...

Therefore, I would ask honourary Members in the north-east corner of the House to consider again before they laugh at my intentions.

At all events, here is this Bill, and it is not a feeble little Bill. It is called the Matrimonial Causes Bill. It is a Bill to reform the indecent, hypocritical, cruel, and unjust marriage laws of this country. It is a Bill which carries out or is based upon the recommendations of the Majority Report of the Royal Commission which reported twenty-three years ago, and I am ready, as I say, to introduce it next Friday.

In your wise advice to us the other day, Mr. Speaker, you mentioned the decline of public interest in the proceedings of this House. I was wondering then whether some part of that decline might not be due to the fact that so many high and great problems are discussed in the House which are not understood or understandable by the common people, and that simple human problems such as are dealt with in this Bill, and which the common man does think he understands, are so seldom mentioned here, and when they are mentioned are dismissed as frivolities."

They don't write 'em like that now, more's the pity. He couldn't say any of that today, despite the fact that it's quite true.

Mr Average and Mrs Stupid, who have absolute power to say who goes and who stays, would take offence - after they had been told they had been insulted by some busybody on TV. Whatever happened to Meritocracy: goverment by altruistic, intelligent members of society? Why is our fortune in the hands of dishonest idiots who got themselves elected by saying whatever their pollsters told them would harvest votes? Is it manipulative TV journalists who now hold the reins? Here's a tip - you can't trust anyone who doesn't have a strong sense of humour.

The pictures are of famous plays, though a couple of decades later.

Dear Madam, you have seen this play;
I never saw it till today.
You know the details of the plot,
But, let me tell you, I do not.
The author seeks to keep from me
The murderer's identity,
And you are not a friend of his
If you keep shouting who it is.
The actors in their funny way
Have several funny things to say,
But they do not amuse me more
If you have said them just before;
The merit of the drama lies,
I understand, in some surprise;
But the surprise must now be small
Since you have just foretold it all.
The lady you have brought with you
Is, I infer, a half-wit too,
But I can understand the piece
Without assistance from your niece.
In short, foul woman, it would suit
Me just as well if you were mute;
In fact, to make my meaning plain,
I trust you will not speak again.
And—may I add—one human touch?—
Don't breathe upon my neck so much.

Category:

Entertainment

Tags:

• At the Theatre
• A P Herbert
• poetry
• poem