Why do raccoons have hands? What is so special about them that they get hands? They're not smart like monkeys or dolphins. And why don't dolphins have hands if they're supposed to be the second smartest species on the planet? Isn't that kind of setting them up for disappointment? "I'd love to paint, or build something, but I can't breathe or move on land, and I don't have any hands, so fuck me, I guess." Meanwhile here's a raccoon with opposable thumbs and all the dexterity in the world and its biggest plan is to pry the lids off as many garbage cans as it can find. Is this a wise allocation of resources?
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