JP Morgan: Socialized Capitalism - PF 028

JP Morgan has successfully arranged for taxpayers to guarantee the dubious assets of Bear Stearns in a risk-free takeover.
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FULL TRANSCRIPT:
Free-market capitalism. It is our mantra.

Unrestrained, unfettered, unregulated, Darwinistic, laissez-faire capitalism.

The strong and healthy survive and flourish, pocketing unlimited profit, while the weak and mismanaged fall to the wayside.

Unless of course we're talking about really large investment banks, owned by and handling the investments of wealthy Inner Party members, then the shoe is on quite another foot, and we, the wealthy oligarchs, become the biggest blood-sucking socialists you've ever seen at the government slop trough.

The aristocrats who control JPMorgan have successfully conned the federal government into using the U.S. taxpayer as a safety net to allow JP Morgan's takeover of the remnants of Bear Stearns at pennies on the dollar.

*VIDEO INSERT*

You're damn right they are. If we make profits, we get to keep them. If we screw up and lose money, we run as fast as we can to suckle at the government's teat until we've had our fill. Why suffer devastating losses when you can plunder the taxpayers?

The irony of this action is magnificent: we, the wealthy Inner Party, purport every day to be chastely conservative and solemnly devoted to free-market capitalism.

Anything that hints of socialism or government assistance we strike down with a mighty sword in broad public view.
Our surrogates are able to whip hoards of middle-class wage-earners into a frenzy with the mere mention of welfare, taxes, regulation, or government hand-outs.

And yet the government bailout of Bear Stearns is the most expensive Socialist act the government has taken in decades.

*VIDEO INSERT*

Yes, that makes me feel fantastic; that man is a good friend of mine.

*VIDEO INSERT*

Ah, even better still. The CEO of the company that failed made an even larger bonus, illustrating that those who are simply out for themselves will reap even greater reward and compensation.

Wannh wannh wannh.

Anyone who uses a gun to commit robbery in the U.S. is a fool, as long as the U.S. federal government is around to give it away.

In overseas news, we are 6 months away from total victory in Iraq.

You will continue to support President George W. Bush and you will report the names of any persons heard criticizing the president, the party, or the war.

Have a pleasant evening.

Category:

News & Politics

Tags:

• Bear
• Stearns
• JP
• Morgan
• bailout
• Marxist
• Marxism
• capitalist
• capitalism
• corporate
• welfare
• handout
• election
• 2008

[EchelonMonitor]

The Rothshilds prefer to not have their name listed on all their holding, a policy they began as early as 1831 with the founding of the Lambert bank in Belgium, named after their agent, as they did with Erlanger and JP Morgan. They also have a major stake in Barclays.

Chasse Manhattan was one of the Rockefeller family banks.

[EchelonMonitor]

It's now JP Morgan Chase, owned by the Rothschilds and Rockefellers.

It is one of the owners of the Federal Reserve, and is about to take over most of the banks in the US and become the controlling megabank.

If you don't like their policies, too bad--you won't have a choice but to bank with them.

[leppy111]

@heyyougooutside Don't get caught stupid, snipe

[leppy111]

@heyyougooutside Don't get caught stupid, snipe

[111WLee]

JAMIE DIMON WILL GO TO JAIL SOON.

THIS IS NOT A JOKE. HE AND CNBC ARE ILLEGALLY MONITORING MY PERSONAL LIFE AND EMAILS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BELIEVE ME NOW, BUT THEY'RE GOING TO GO TO JAIL SOON AFTER SOMETHING HAPPENS.

[MEzm3r1z3]

@exenrontexas durrrrr okay

[MannyFandango]

*raises hands, crosses them and chants*

B-B! B-B! B-B!

[heyyougooutside]

@leppy111

Then get thrown in jail for first degree murder? :D

Sounds like a great plan, leppy. Hey, why don't you go over to a highway overpass and see if you can fly!

[chaosdei5]

People like you create unreasonable public anger. The money that banks were given was taken forcefully because the government forced them to take it, to ensure we didn't plunge into a depression. All that money is being paid back. No one received free money.