The toaster thinks it's Sasha Grey [Porn Negative Space Soliloquy - a terrible spinoff]

Feeling inspired and somewhat empowered by all the shots of white goods, mattresses & angles between ceiling and walls in the Porn Negative Space videos my toaster, going under the moniker "Morphy Richards", delivers this monologue regarding its place, as it see itself, in the porn world.

There is something wrong with my toaster.

[Real pornstar dialogue - transcribed - text-to-speech - female whisper]

Category:

Film & Animation

Tags:

• negativeporn
• porn
• negative
• space
• soliloquy
• cantcopewontcope
• can't cope won't cope
• sasha
• grey
• alt
• gonzo
• kodak
• zi8
• Real
• pornstar
• dialogue
• transcribed
• text-to-speech
• female
• whisper
• relaxation
• misssashagrey

[frege666]

In addition to thinking he's Sasha Grey and sounding exactly like her, Morphy--if you squint your eyes a bit--looks a considerable lot like her. He may have a case.

[CantCopeWontCope]

he? he? he? how can you be so sure?? i am willing to believe you, you are probably an expert on white good genitalia... ;)

[frege666]

"white good genitalia"...mmmm

Well, if I'm not an expert already, I'd be very interested in seeking out avenues for becoming one.

Pronouns are so slippery these days. Perhaps I should've opted for the safer, but more typographically awkward 's/he'? Meh. ;)

[CantCopeWontCope]

morphy wasn't impressed but i calmed it down with some brown bread, well i think it's calm... at least it's stopped speaking...

oh hold on, i spoke too soon, it burnt the toast

i think morphy wants an apology from you [you'll have to write it with marmite on toast - it's the only thing it reads]

[miznarik]

it's like an invader spacing out

[CantCopeWontCope]

stop bullying my toaster... it's been through enough :(

[misssashagrey]

i like it.

[MindsiMedia]

Hot stuff!

[miad411]

LMFAO! a girl in my class actually talks like this.

[miznarik]

(damnit, i've been spotted) - ''I admit to nothing!''

[CantCopeWontCope]

badoom-tish ;)

[CantCopeWontCope]

Thanks, that's very kind. [doffs cap]