The Most Amazing Bible Passages Ever!

Here are my favorite verses to recite for nonbelievers who just don't get it -- especially when the going gets tough.

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[Qquwow]

SATIRE.

get a brain guys

[donfishmaster]

@taxmiy Or was it that you have to go into a dark closet with a priest and repent of your sins while he describes the things you have to do to him...err....the things god wants you to do to as penance for your sins.

[Kriegtime101]

Laws of Rape (Deuteronomy 22:28-29 NLT) WOW THIS REALLY TOPS THE CAKE! If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her.

What kind of lunatic would make a rape victim marry her attacker? Answer: God.

[Kriegtime101]

What about the passages of the bible that promote slavery, the murder of adulterers, and the hatred of homosexuals. The bible is so full of contradictions that there really is no way to defend it:

God is satisfied with his works

Gen 1:31

God is dissatisfied with his works. Gen 6:6 2. God dwells in chosen temples 2 Chron 7:12,16 God dwells not in temples Acts 7:48 3. God dwells in light Tim 6:16 God dwells in darkness 1 Kings 8:12

[Kriegtime101]

Its so convenient that the only record we have of Jesus' life (only his youth) and his death is a book written by a group of power hungry, homophobic, sexist, and racist men in ancient Palestine. OMG the bible predicted that some people wouldn't buy this tripe... what a surprise.

[neoman121]

*Tries this on a nonbeliever*

*get's thrown in a dumpster*

THANKS ALLOT FOR NOTHING!!! >:(

[doombybbr]

the most phylosophically correct interpretation of the "do not cast your pearls before swine" (to my mind) is that if you try to give someone something that they don't want, they won't take it(pigs see no value in pearls) also some people will not be pursuaded by your money and to bribe them is an insult. but to call them swine is a mistake in the passage because for all you know, they think of you as evil for your very attempt at bribery....

[9876543210goodbye]

@BruisingPrune Yes, a huge mistake giving a woman a mouth for something other than a Penis....

[jeezusallahchrist]

@hideo34 haha lol the holey bible is power! 

[quintessential37]

My favorite part of any EC vid is the comment section. Obtuse folks make me feel superior. Is that wrong?

[BruisingPrune]

Timothy 2:12 No woman shall have authority over man; she must remain quiet.

Sucks for you ladies

[MDoodlee]

So because someone doesn't believe in God, they are automatically "hopeless, godless pigs" and lesser people because of it? Right. Sounds like a very "christian" thing to say, I think you might have skipped a few verses... ya know like the whole "treat others how you wish to be treated" and "love one and other with brotherly affection".