and more tumblr advice stuff from some guest tumblrs, question:
I don't tell my friends because I feel that they're tired of me saying the same thing over and over but I just need to tell someone. When I write it to myself, I look at it and the same thoughts occur over and over again. When I write it on my blog, I don't feel safe. I feel like mutual friends are just going to run up to the person and blurt out everything I said and I feel as if I'm going to be looked down upon by him. Well, I dated this guy named Jacob for about 9 months. The first few months were amazing, (please take into account that I'm 16 he was 15 and my parents are stirct so I'm not let out often) regardless we made things work. I gave up my virginity to him. However things started happening, he started flirting with his best friend and got alot of female attention and this was a blow to my already low self esteem. We argued often about his flirting, my insecurity, not seeing each other, and everything you could think of. We took some breaks but we'd get back together and we'd still have the same problems. It got to the point where I could only see him 3 times a month at best and I felt like I was always stuck waiting. Waiting for him to show me he cared, to call, to make the first move. The more I waited, the more I felt like I was losing him. I've made my fair share of mistakes such as being too dependent or always try to fix things but he had his share as well. He said alot of mean things that were borderline abusive and put alot of the blame on me. I started to believe everything he told me and I still do. The break up was slow and painful. I could feel the tension and everyday I could feel it go downhill. I tried everything. I gave him space, I gave him affection, love letters. But nothing could save us. As I said the break up was slow so its hard to say exactly when it ended but it seems to be around the end of march. I'm still not completely over him and it hurts. A lot actually. I feel like everything was my fault, I feel like he kept me lingering, some days I'm alright and others I miss him terribly. I hate how everything now involves effort. Effort to not think about him, effort to be happy, to feel good about myself. But I've never really falt happy or good about myself. On a couple of occasions I've tried to tell him that i own up to my mistakes and that I'm sorry and what not but he just flat out, well let me have it lol he said that he's glad that i realized it after there was nothing left to do and that it is my fault and that I am the reason why he's so angry. I don't understand how this could be maybe you can help me with this. I still love him and I don't want him to be angry. I want him to be happy and enjoy life but most of all I want him to miss me and magically believe that I'm beautiful and amazing and that he can't do better and that he'll come back wanting to be with me. I'm pretty sure this will never happen though.
So yeah I'm trying my hardest to move on but I need help. Thanks for listening :]
Loading...
7:11
Voices Heard Lessons Learned 16by Tumblrvoices1209 views
you guys are so gay. get out of the house and go shoot some niggers.
OMGNORWAY 1 year ago
you guys are so gay. get out of the house and go shoot some niggers.
OMGNORWAY 1 year ago
Just some advice- Don't let someone know that you are entirely into them. That way he will only take you for granted because he knows exactly that you need him in your life.Play cool.Their is nothing wrong in just calling him up and be like'' what's up?'' how you doing? and be like bye.. lol..Always remember that everyone thinks differently sometimes.He maybe thinking about you :)-but doesn't let you know. So don't fret yourself ! If their is anyway I could help just send me a msg! xoxox
cgrepresentative 1 year ago