ED Update: WARNING***RANT near the End which includes some Cursing***

***ARGH! Why is YT so stupid and cuts off all the ENDS of these Videos!?!?***

Sorry...
It's been a REALLY difficult few days. Especially today. I just feel so alone and so hopeless as to what to do and where to go. I am "obviously" NOT sick enough to be given treatment bc if I was, then I would not have been discharged! (right???) There ARE no options for me! (That I can see anyway. All of the waiting lists that we have looked at are a minimum wait of 4-5 months!!! I seriously CANNOT, nor do I want to, WAIT THAT LONG!!!

I am 35 years old....I'll be 36 at the end of January 2010!!! I WANT a family, a career, a LIFE! WHY is this so damn hard!?! WHY is it that when I REALLY want treatment.... NOTHING IS AVAILABLE!?!?!? I just don't get it?!?!?

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• anorexia_nervosa
• bulimia_nervosa
• ana
• mia
• recovery
• relapse
• treatment
• failure

[alongfalldown]

Your face isn't puffy- you are entirely too self critical! I wish you could see that you are a wonderful, intelligent, insightful, beautiful caring person. In terms of not having access to treatment- I can relate. I am in the US without insurance. There are basically no options When things are bad, it is hard to know where to turn when I can't get the support I need even though I WANT it... It is so frustrating, but I just try to keep pushing forward and so should you!

[weaveamyweave08]

Thank you for your strength. xo~a

[thingsthatneverwere]

I love ladybugs.

i hope you are ok.......

[weaveamyweave08]

I love Ladybugs too.... Outside in the summer! Not INside in November...November in Ontario, CANADA! LOL

[tommax26]

Hi Amy, What I understand is that there are two parts of our inner life. The soul part is what is tormenting you. That is, the memories, emotions, experiences...things like that. And then there is a deeper part of your inner life called the spirit. This is the area where God's Spirit communicates with our spirit...speaking messages that sometimes can't be put in words. One that we can know is in John 8:32. "You will know the truth, the Truth will set you free." Jesus is the Truth.

[weaveamyweave08]

Thank you Tom. Your comments always make things feel a little less..... bad. xo~a

[GrowingandHealing]

I am still thinking about you! F&%k your ED!!! You are worth so much and are so much more important than it! I know it can feel helpless at times. Please hold on!

[weaveamyweave08]

Yes. I SEE that very clearly. What other's don't see that were not there, is that my Therapist was MORE then willing and able to work with them AND me so that I could complete the Programme successfully. He is helping me with the memories and that are coming up re: the trauma. I NEED the IP Treatment to help me with everything else. (food, ed thoughts, behaviours, etc.) Treatment was NOT willing or interested in allowing outside help in. I don't "fit" their "mould". so to speak...

[lostlittlegirlygirl]

whta u say about not bein sick enouf for treatment is NOT right.u would not be responsive to the treatment they hav to offer.can u not see that they cannot take sumbody who is not in a good place mentally to cope with the programme?there are issues holding u back that need to be addressed first.simple as

[weaveamyweave08]

OMG! My face is so flipping PUFFY!!!