Things NOT to say to someone who's had a miscarriage

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Uploaded by on Nov 14, 2008

If you've had a miscarriage, you know that people can say some pretty stupid and insensitive things in an attempt to make you feel better. So, I'm venting about some of the stupid things that my older sister said to me.

Here are the comments my sister made that really upset me:

At least you know you can get pregnant.

It's not as bad as what I went through.

There's so much more that doctors can do for women who can't carry babies than for women who can't get pregnant.

Maybe this is God's way of telling you that this wasn't the right time for you to have a baby.

Please add video responses or text comments about some of the things people have said to you. I think it would be great for everyone to get a chance to vent and also to have this list out there to hopefully prevent at least a few people from saying something stupid to a friend or family member.

Thanks for your input!!!!!!

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Uploader Comments (kathrynmichelle84)

  • "I think I may have had one once. I had a couple REALLY heavy, late periods." (Mom) yeah, no... that is NOT the same thing. Lets focus on MY loss, rather than your attempt at creating common ground.

    "Well THANK GOD, sounds like you dodged a bullet. You don't need another kid anyways." (Dad) ummmm.... yeah I kind of hate you a little right now.

    "Stop victimizing yourself, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just see this as the blessing that it is, and get over it." (also Dad)

  • @natbone23 I'm sorry you received such hurtful comments. I hope you are able to find healing with time. I'm so sorry for your loss! 

  • I experienced many stupid comments with my miscarriage a little over a month ago, especially from my mom. I appreciate your video and hope others don't have to go through what we did.

  • @GlamRx1 I'm so sorry for your loss. It's too bad that your mother was not helpful to you in your time of need. I hope you are able to find healing with time.

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  • Today is ment to be my due date. I lost my baby at 7 weeks. Even though it was really soon in the pregnancy it really effected me. Especially knowing today I am ment to be a mum. I think about baby all the time. Some of the members in my family told me it was a 'blessing ', that I need to live my life and not get tied down and that I should get over it. This really hurt both myself and my fiancee.

    I really appericiate your video. So much that was said to you was said to us too.

    Thank u

  • @iteens297 Thank you!

  • @LoriLorainne I'm so sorry! What a horrible thing to say!

  • The day after I got out of the ER, and I had just found out I was having a threatened miscarriage, I spoke to my sister on the phone. She is going through some stressful things also. I kindly told her that the doctor told me to rest and keep my stress levels down, so if we couldn't talk about her situation so I wouldn't stress. My sister blew up on me and said I was being insensitive. I had to hang up on her.

  • She told me via text that I was a "B" word. She told me to "F" off and then said the most painful thing that severed my relationship with her. Via text she tells me, "The fact that you are bringing life into this world is scary!" A month and one day later after that text, I miscarried and those words burned through me ever since.

  • @kathrynmichelle84 All you can do is forgive her, because she could not have known how badly these comments hurt you.

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