Along Galbraithian Lines, Presumably

May entry for Grumpy Coyotes Bring the Song (give me a while, and I might catch up with now). My William Jerome song makes a passing reference to my kazoo locating difficulties, and here's a little more on that problem. My first theory to explain this, referenced in the title, is that this whole thing was a complex economic scheme on the part of the government to encourage the manufacture of special stealth kazoos in order to provide a boost to the novelty instrument industry in these difficult times. I've since decided that this may be a little far fetched, and now prefer to believe that my kazoos have evolved a kind of rudimentary intelligence, and are in fact actively hiding from me. Their intentions, obviously, are to encourage me to liberate their fellows from the bondage of London's music shops. Once they feel they've achieved all they can on that front, they will, presumably, run away to form some kind of self supporting, anarcho-syndicalist kazoo commune, and live in peace, love and freedom, enjoying a uniquely kazooid lifestyle.

Either that or I'm just not terribly tidy. One of the two.

Anyway, lyrics (chords are essentially just a blues in D):

I could find my ukuleles in the dark,
And I could lay my hands on my washboard with my eyes closed.
I may not know how to play my harmonica that well,
But at least where it is is one thing I know I know.
I could even find my swannee whistle given a minute or two.
So tell me why it is why I can never find my kazoo.

I bought a kazoo, it was a lot of fun,
So when I couldnt find it, I bought another one
When I got home, I saw the first one soon as I got through the door,
No surprises there, that's just Sod's Law.
But the problem didn't end just because I now had two.
Whenever I actually wanted one, I still couldn't find my kazoo.

(Kazoo solo if you've got one)

I thought I would be free when I gave up and bought a third
But I still lost them all together, they're gregarious, they herd.
By the time I bought the twentieth I thought This is getting daft
And I went out to buy the twenty first with a mirthless, hollow laugh.
It's enough to make you want to drown your sorrows with cheap booze.
But I haven't got the cash to spare; I've spent it all on new kazoos.

47, 814,
But whenever I actually want one, they're nowhere to be seen.
I'm cold and broke and destitute, with all the costs that they've incurred;
I'd flog the lot on eBay if I just knew where they were.
I've lost my friends, my house, my job, my money;
I've got nothing left to lose.
Except what I can't help but keep on losing: my kazoos.

Category:

Music

Tags:

• Bring
• the
• Song
• Ukulele
• Kazoo
• They're
• Under
• Your
• Hat
• You
• Fool

[GrumpyCoyoteTunes]

Now you've done it - I've lost mine too!

So great!

[Blindingham]

It's a global conspiracy, I tells you!

[UnluckyMum]

Great song ! Cool mouth trumpeting- never knew thats what it was called :)

[Blindingham]

In fairness, it might well not be, but that's what I've always called it, and people seem to know what I mean.

[mjs004]

Another classic! I lost all my kazoos too!

[Blindingham]

It's not just me, then! Excellent. I knew there were dark forces at work...

[travestyalpha]

That was full of fun, witty lyrics. Thanks.

[bummerwolf]

Anarcho-syndicalist Kazooid communes!

[Scarytoaster]

Kazooid. Fabulous word!

We'll have this one for the 19th July, methinks.

[hdcw2000bc]

my fault. Had a mad attack of poncey arthouse filmmaker's disease, decided to be pretentious and bleached the footage. Was actually quite sunny.

Will try and incorporate random shots of a mime smoking a gallouise into the next vid.