Scarecrow! - original song

Crick's third annual Scarecrow Weekend starts on the evening of Friday, July 8th 2011 and runs until Sunday 10th. This song was especially written for the first one, back in 2009. If you'd like to see some of the 120-odd scarecrows that were made by local villagers in that year, please pay a visit to http://crickscarecrow.tumblr.com/

As I was lolling on a stile
One evening in July,
There was something in my look
That caught a passing farmer's eye,
And he said, "Young man, you look
The sort of chap I might employ.
How'd you like to work for me,
And be a farmer's boy?"
In these troubled times it's hard to find
A good job nowadays.
I'd searched for weeks and found no work,
So now my hopes were raised
When the farmer said he'd pay me,
Maybe twenty pounds a day,
If come rain or shine I wouldn't mind
Just scaring birds away.




Said I, "You want a scarecrow, sir;
Please don't suppose I'm thick.
So why not stuff a coat with straw
And mount it on a stick
In the middle of your field?"
He replied, "Oh that won't do,
'Cause no scarecrow I might make
Would look as frightening as you."
"Well, what will be the hours?" I asked.
"From four till eight," said he.
"Sounds good to me," I said,
"But I shall want a break for tea."
"Ten minutes?" "That sounds reasonable,"
I answered. "Thanks a bunch."
Then he told me I would get the same
For breakfast and my lunch.

I did the maths and then protested:
"You must think I'm daft.
Thirteen hours a day ain't fair!"
But he just stood and laughed:
"Look, I'll give you a free uniform
To supplement your pay,
And girls just love a uniform."
"Ooh, right; that sounds okay."
He handed me a battledress
His dad wore in the war,
And though it was too big, when it
Was padded out with straw
It fitted me quite well, but then
I tried his old tin hat.




"Stuff that!" I cried. "No way!
I'll just feel stupid wearing that."

Well, there I stood next morning
In his field at break of day
Doing all that I could think of
That might scare the birds away.
To be sure my clothes would flap a bit,
I chose a windy place
Then I stood upon one leg
And pulled a very scary face.
At first the birds were cautious
And I got some funny looks,
But after half an hour the field
Was full of feeding rooks.
The farmer came and yelled at me:
"Oi! Don't just stand about!
To scare those birds away you need
To run around and shout!"

He tied some old CDs onto
My sleeves with bits of string
Then told me, "Now flap up and down
As if your arms were wings."
When I said that I felt foolish,
He said, "Don't be absurd;
You need to make those crows believe
That you're a giant bird."
All day long I tore around
And yelled. I've heard it said
That some folks may have thought that I
Was funny in the head.
I raced about and went "Neeee-arggghhh!"
With all my might and main,
Forgot I was a scarecrow
And I dreamt I was a plane.




I left the farmer's field and zoomed
Off to the village green;
I felt like I was piloting
A turbo-jet machine.
There I terrified the postman, scared
The vicar, dear old chap,
And his wife's poor little Yorkie
As it went to take a nap.
I petrified the children and
I traumatised the cats;
The drunks all ran away and hid;
I drove out all the rats.
The cows all ran for cover
In a great stampeding herd;
I scared the pants off everything
Except the blasted birds.

I stopped at last at eight o'clock,
Almost on my knees,
And all the crows then left the field
And flew back to the trees.
I went to find the farmer
But I didn't get my pay;
I never saw that man again;
I'd scared the bloke away!

Words and music ©Paddy Wex 2009

Category:

Music

Tags:

• Crick Scarecrow Weekend
• musical comedy
• original song
• folk song
• Northamptonshire
• acoustic
• songwriter
• folk music

[sadia102]

hahhaha very good.

[oldfolkiepad]

@sadia102 Thank you - glad you found this amusing!

Best wishes,

Paddy

[artofwork]

I very much enjoyed your little ditty, story telling at its best!

[oldfolkiepad]

@artofwork Thank you very much; I'm glad you found it entertaining!

[Kittielips]

I'm sorry to bother you again. but tell him to 'get stuffed!' I've just peed for a while!

The cheeky sod.....Give me a gun right now!!

I'll shoot the gjt! I mean it, I will!

Love.

Jennie. X.

[oldfolkiepad]

@Kittielips  You just can't get the stuff these days!

Love,

Paddy

[oldfolkiepad]

@starvinfolkartist Glad you like it - thank you!

[Kittielips]

@oldfolkiepad

Isn't it appolling?

Love.

Jennie. X.

[oldfolkiepad]

Thank you Jeann. I'm glad you enjoyed this.

best wishes,

Paddy

[PhilippineJeann]

Hello, I love your music, You are good at playing and making it good while you sing... Jeann