Dennis The Constitutional Peasant

Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a 1975 film about King Arthur and his knights who embark on a low-budget search for the Grail, encountering many very silly obstacles.

Dennis The Constitutional Peasant

Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treatin' me like an inferior.
Arthur: Well, I am king.
Dennis: Oh, king, eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, then? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society! If there's ever going to be any progress--
Dennis: We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as sort-of-executive officer for the week--
Arthur: Yes.
Dennis: But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting--
Arthur: Yes, I see.
Dennis: By a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs--
Arthur: [getting annoyed] Be quiet.
Dennis: But by a two thirds majority, in the case of more major--
Arthur: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
Dennis' Mother: Order, eh? Who does he think he is?
Arthur: I am your king!
Dennis' Mother: Well I didn't vote for you.
Arthur: You don't vote for kings!
Dennis' Mother: Well how'd you become king, then?
Arthur: The Lady of the Lake,... [Angel chorus begins singing in background] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [Angel chorus ends] That is why I am your king!
Dennis: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Arthur: Be quiet!
Dennis: You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Arthur: Shut up; will you SHUT UP?! [Grabs Dennis and shakes him]
Dennis: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Arthur: SHUT UP!
Dennis: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!!
Arthur: BLOODY PEASANT! releases Dennis and walks away as other peasents come to see what's going on]
Dennis: Oh, what a giveaway. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm all about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?

• Category

  Comedy

[MyMasterController]

spelling errors I can live with.....finding something wrong about someone trying to learn however.....now there's ignorance if there ever was any. His example annihilates everything he said before it by stripping of credibility. Much like the structure "I think" BUT "what I really mean" just shatters the foundation of your own sentence. Suggestion. hit ignore.

[suddenlyitsobvious]

'learn to read'. Your very short post is REPLETE with spelling errors, lol.

[indiegameguys]

Fuck up hahaha, your trying so hard to sound smart your coming off a retard. It;s sad like watching a down syndrome child learn to read.

[Saint Seiya]

not to mention the very judeo-christian Thomas Jefferson supported the French Left against the monarchs and their right wing supporters.

[Saint Seiya]

"The french revolution had nothing to do with conservatism based on today because that was IN FRANCE"

the french revolution had EVERYTHING to do with the origin of the terms "left-wing and right-wing". judeo christian values and the failure of the french republic and soviet union have nothing to do with what left wing and right wing actually mean.

[dchris1990]

you silly man. The French Revolution almost succeeded, before it was overwhelmed by the army it had to create to fight off the dozen invasions from the 'judeo-christian' monarchs.

Also, to say America is judeo-christian ignores the obvious relationship between the French and American constitutions. We were just luckier. We weren't sorrounded by angry reactionary monarchs. We had a 3000 mile sea to protect our new republic.

[suddenlyitsobvious]

...the French by a factor EIGHT. Judeo-christian principles indeed! The country is a sewer of depravity today, about 2 million people are LOCKED UP and everything stinks.

The symbol of economic dominance, the WTC, was blown up 12 years ago.

[suddenlyitsobvious]

'Anything the poor and working classes like is unfunny and corrupt, and anything that makes the well-off laugh is pure and comedic' The first proposition is mostly correct, the second isn't since the well-off are mainly laughing at the stupidity of the subservients.