The Church Of Vashog [Mirror]

Mirrored From http://www.youtube.com/user/ChurchOfVashog

The Church Of Vashog
is dedicated to bringing an organized worshiping place for a giant hermaphroditic blue whale.
This is the first official Church of this kind.
The official name for this religion is "Vashogism".
Anyone can be a Vashogist as long as they believe in giant whales, hermaphrodites, and freedom.




The Beginning

1. In the beginning Vashog imploded from the 618th dimension.

2. And Vashog felt a pain in its stomach.

And it gurped out the sun, the planets, and the asteroids.

3. And Vashog felt a strange pain in its stomach.

And it gurped out plants and animals.

4. And Vashog didn't care.

And the plants and animals randomly flew towards the various bits of gurpage.

5. And Vashog felt a strong pain in its stomach.

And it gurped out humans.

6. And Vashog didn't care.

And the humans randomly flew towards the various bits of gurpage.

7. And the pain in Vashog's stomach stopped.

And there was silence.

8. And Vashog swam to another part of the galaxy.

And the plants, animals, and humans were left to fend for themselves..

9. And the humans saw the plants and animals and brewed some thoughts.

And the humans ate a lot of plants and animals.

10. And the humans saw each other and brewed some thoughts.

And the humans started to procreate.

11. And Vashog didn't care.

And the humans rejoiced.

12. And in their revelry, the humans brewed some thoughts.

And they realized that they had something special.

13. And the humans realized they had something called "Free Will."

And there were other humans who tried to suppress this "Free Will.".

14. And the "Free" humans tried to explain that Vashog had given them a gift, and that gift was good.

But the others would not listen, and the Vashogists were ridiculed.




gurp (GERP): v. to (willingly or unwillingly) expel dissolved nutrients from one's stomach, up one's trachea, and out one's mouth. The expelled nutrients are in the form of a fine brown mist that hovers in the air. In the examples mentioned above, the resulted gurpage is so huge that it clings together in the immense vacuum of space to create a galaxy. e.g. "When little Billy fell, I could swear that I saw him gurp up a lung!" gurpage(GERP'edj): n. the result of gurping. gurpy(GERP'ee): adj. to feel as if one is going to gurp.



-created by Jason Doyle

Category:

Nonprofits & Activism

Tags:

• vashog
• religion
• freedom
• giant
• hermaphroditic
• blue
• whale
• Vashogism
• 618th
• dimension
• gurped
• grup

[Toldyouso0089]

So this vashog story is actualy a metophor? For the idea that all came from an extra dimensional emplosion?

[vesman81]

Vashog is many things to many people, but Vashog is actually a whale.

[LittleSpaceDoubt]

Glad to see that the Church is still alive and well. Excellent video.

[vesman81]

It always takes ten years to really get a religion going. I think the world is ready for Vashog

[Omhra]

LOL... tgreat humor,,, So divergent, yet parallel to the bible.. its great

[Belphegorfan54]

Are you serious?

[kenyanmuslim]

As I said this describes evolution more than Creationism. Evoltuin = purposlessness/vomiting/regurg­itatin/random contents, unintelligent process/e.t.c