SE++ Forum Battle 2009 : Round 3
Ten vs Fletcher
Lyrics:
'Twas the 3rd round of battle, in the year of '09
and I'd just killed a guy in a hat
I'd tracked my next prey to a house on a hill
Who I was told I would know by his bright green cravat
As I broached the perimeter of his high rise retreat
I saw that something was awry
What I thought was a fence to keep others away
Was hundreds of bodies piled 2 metres high
On closer inspection of said rotting corpses
I noticed the evidence of mass homicide
A scar down the left cheek of each pale face
And an arrow through every right eye
Disturbed though I was, as any would be
I knew that I had to continue
So I pushed aside bodies and climbed through the pile
until the house that I sought was in view
But before I could take a single step up the hill
Sudden pain as something flew by
An arrow had grazed me and left a large cut
on my face, right down the left side
'That was a warning' a voice called out
'And the only one you shall receive
So unless you would like to be part of my fence
You should act like a tree and just leave'
I looked up the hill to a man standing there
With a bow and an arrow nocked high
His presence struck awe deep into my heart
Not the least from the green of his tie
'I surrender', I yelled, and dropped down to my knees
'But sir, you must help me this day
Your skills have astounded me deep to my core
You must teach me your archery ways!'
The man smirked, and then grinned, and then let out a laugh
'I won't teach you, I've only just met ya!
Though I'll give you a hint, my archery sucks!
But why do you think they call me The Fletcher?'
'I can fletch any arrow to fly where I want
no matter the skill of the archer'
'Then a challenge' I said 'I choose a target, you hit it
and then you shall have my departure'
Fletcher hemmed and he hawed but his pride was too great
So he invited me up to his archery range
Where I gave him my challenge, to bullseye the target
via a flower growing out of his drain
'Very well' Fletcher said, as he reached for his quiver
And suddenly his hands were a blur
And when they slowed down, he showed me his work
'You'll see you've underestimated me, sir'
And he fired the arrow straight at my head
But it turned and shot off up the drain!
Where it pierced the poor daisy, then turned yet again
So the target it sought was attained
Defeated, I turned to grant him my absence
But he stopped me, and said 'I'll be fair
You hadn't a clue what my arrows could do
So challenge me again, if you dare'
I sat, and I thought, wondering how I'd outwit
this man Fletcher that stood here before me
For the feathers he wrought were masterpiece works
which, as he'd proved, could kill a whole army
But he must have his limits, so I stood up to the man,
who's face showed nothing but mirth
And his grin never faltered, as I said 'Hit the target,
but first send the arrow around the whole earth'
His hands started working, moving this way and that
for minutes, then hours, then days
And at last he was done, and he held in his hands
a wonder of fletch origami
Fletcher fired his arrow, and it started it's flight
picking up speed as it flew
And before long the arrow was gone from our sight
and waiting was all we could do
More weeks past, and I got to know Fletcher quite well
he actually was a really good guy
But one day, as we sat on the hill and drank tea
his arrow came back and flew straight through his eye
See as skilled as he was, the earth is quite large
and he'd made a slight miscalculation
So the arrow had drifted a bit over time
and thus, Fletcher's self trephination
So I walked down the hill, and the townspeople assumed
that I'd been the victorious man
So I played along, and announced to the crowd
'Uh, yeh! That was totally my plan!'
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2:50
SE++ Forum Battle 2010 - Fletcher vs. ChicoBlueby almightyfletcher13,153 views
Glad I stayed right through to the end ...priceless!
lukenoir 2 years ago
LOL FUNNY
shortysk8er266 2 years ago