Ask Victoria: We Teach People How To Treat Us
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O_o
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Ok, but when these people step over your boundaries, what should the consequences be? With my narcissistic parents, there are no natural consequences, and I'm supposed to limit their narcissistic supply anyway, so what sort of leverage do I have over them? If there are no consequences, they will come back again and again, and have "reason" to antagonize me because they know I have no power over them. If I feed them by giving them attention, and they go out of their way to provoke me, what I do?
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Wow another simple quick fix, if you were any more intelligent you could be a doctor and really spread it around.
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Victoria.... you look loke Barbara Strisand.... LOL
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We cannot guarantee that you will get what you want if you stand up for yourself. At least you've tried. Nothing ventured nothing gained. However if you're hanging around people who take the attitude that if you had the affront to ask then you don't deserve get the hell away rather than suffer in silence.
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While I realize that many new therapists are saying what they think is right, the situation is never as simplistic as you make it sound. One does not teach anybody anything, especially not addictive type people! We teach ourselves. It doesn't start with standing up to to others. It starts with something so much deeper within ourselves. It is about understanding our own awesomeness as well as other people's, and never wavering in regard to this. Only then will our words & actions follow, win-win
3 years ago 5
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You cannot guarantee respect even when you do stand up for yourself. The thing to do then is to walk away because at least you've tried to get what you wanted. Nothing ventured nothing gained but if you're talking to somebody who has the attitude that if you have the nerve to ask then you don't get then you really shouldn't be around them.
lemsip 2 years ago 8
This is only partly true as most psychology for that matter is fragmented and can never lead to real enlightenment. Many, many, many people are victimized even after standing up to someone, and often victimized once they do stand up. While I do realize it's important to stand up, life is a catch 22, and there are no easy answers, only methods that have no guarantees.
wonderwhaz797 2 years ago 8