A Light Drifting in the Darkness: the Internet and loneliness [SeaInsideHer]

A response to SeaInsideHer on the topic of loneliness as it relates to the internet, social deception, and my own self-hatred.

This is a video response to SeaInsideHer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_olBPLWdePo&feature=feedu

This is PixieEleven, the woman whose channel I was relating to:
http://www.youtube.com/user/PixieEleven

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• loneliness
• internet
• community
• genuinity
• self-hate
• social
• acceptability
• norm
• wierd
• other
• anomalous
• behaviour

[TheGraniteFlaneur]

Are you stoned?! I felt many of these feelings when I was stoned all the time. I stopped and two weeks later I felt a little better. I'm still ugly though. Stopping smoking won't change that.

[BoundlessEyes]

@TheGraniteFlaneur Yeah, I'm stoned. Constantly. But I was a mental patient first.

[Nuron666]

Jess

If you really think your ugly, you would not bother making any videos showing your face.

I dont think your ugly and most people here dont think your ugly.

If they did think that way, they would not even bother coming on your channel.

[BoundlessEyes]

@Nuron666 Nuron, your first point is incorrect. I really think I'm ugly, I just don't hide under a rock.

Second point: Thank-you, and I'm sure they feel mixed about it.

Your third point implies that no-one cares what I have to say and come here merely to look at me. I'm sure that's not true.

[gizzytiersen]

On a purely shallow level my initial impression is that aesthetically you are very attractive. Empirically you are bonny. I've had mental health and self esteem issues which I don't go into on YT. But the uglier and older I've got the better I've felt about myself. Perspective. I take pleasure in little things and trust that the bigger picture will sort itself out. As for Uni. I feel for students nowadays. All that stress, effort and not enough reward for it (not in all cases though)

[AlvinSawdust]

How can I help. I want to fix you but I never can...Please chill. It is painful for me to watch you suffer andI cab say there are people who do care and want to help. Try not to think to deeply about issues. :) Luv

[ashley060189]

To add to my last comment: it sounds like you're falling down the same rabbit hole that I've coped with for quite some time. Between chronic pain & stress in general, it's easy to keep falling deeper & deeper into that black hole. But believe it or not, sometimes it's helpful to see just how far the rabbit hole goes (within reason, anyway). Fear of the mental/emotional unknown can paralyze us more than we realize.

[ashley060189]

I think these feelings are actually pretty typical amongst university students. As someone who is attending university at the moment, I sometimes start to feel very bogged down in hopelessness & lack of faith that my hard work will lead me anywhere anytime soon. But it isn't just about academics-- this leaks into other aspects of my life, too. The things that have helped me the most (believe it or not) have been (a) volunteer work, and (b) writing. Sounds miniscule, but it helps.

[AlvinSawdust]

You think too deeply about certain things that although you wish to improve, they can never be fixed the way you hope. Please just try and relax a bit more. You'll drive yourself mad otherwise.

[SpringtimeRosePetals]

your thoughts are so very deep, and so profound. i watched your entire video very attentively. your words really struck me, and triggered much introspection. i mean all of that sincerely.

xx

[SordidWaif]

I hear a light in the dark... I see a sound in the silence...

[SordidWaif]

When you feel the first tickle of the Grey Wash that becomes despair, and it becomes commonplace but no one else seems to experience it... that's when the grey starts becoming a black sludge..."I am separate from them, and soon they will notice." And your Nightmare is given life in Day Light... they do notice something... the difference was probably arbitrary but becomes a festering sucking wound that they soon recoil from. And you can't escape it then...

[SimonDB2006]

I Love how you share... I think you have a beauty inside and out, I would love to get my hands on you and redesign your beauty... Kisses!

[hillarythompson00]

neurosis only attaches itself to fertile ground where it can flourish