Atheist Church Sick Day Dick Jokes

I am calling in sick, here are some dick jokes.


This is from a set at The Punchline San Francisco. I was performing as part of The Science Comedy Show.

Visit http://youtube.com/latenitesinners who provided this footage. Thanks.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• dick jokes
• atheist comedian
• creationism
• creationist
• atheist
• science comedy
• stand up comedy
• keith lowell jensen

[ReallyDementis]

Athiests are hated because they constantly spew shit that offends christians, on purpose. They constantly poke the sleeping bear and expect him not to wake up.

[klfly]

@ReallyDementis No, we expect him to wake up. PLEASE, wake up! Reality misses you!

[ReallyDementis]

@klfly Not denying its not funny comedy, because I like all kinds of comedy.

But what proof do you have that atheism is correct?

[klfly]

@ReallyDementis Atheism is the lack of a belief that any of the theists are correct. They're the ones who've put forth a theory (using that term loosely) the burden of proof is on them. For many centuries, they have failed.

[krissy4nik]

I wll NEVER be able to enjoy a walk by the lake with my husband again. Every time I see a duck I'll only be wondering about its genitals. You sir have ruined my life!

[klfly]

@krissy4nik :D You're welcome.

[guardcorp]

yes you do. You Christians knock on my door leave fliers leave signs I have seen commercials and on top of all of this in America, atheists are the largest hated group at this very moment by Christians. Also you try to get into too much politics. So excuse us if were trying to fucking speak out.

[Proud0Heretic]

In the beginning there was nothing except for this guy whose really,really, really... complicated. Then there was everything in a matter of days/ weeks/ billions of years. And then there were dicks. Lots of dicks, and vaginas. With complicated dick mazes.

[VidMasterZ]

I remember reading that pigs do have a corresponding curly-Q vagina.

[SnoweyMan111]

@ReallyDementis Wow, um, you come from a religion where you're expected to have faith in something that's impossible to prove, there's no sign anywhere of gods existence.

Who has to prove what? Atheism is usually based in that fact. Most atheist people think (I believe) "well, there's no proof, so why believe in this?". I usually think about other things in life, things like ghosts and such. If you take out the fact that lots of people believe in god, it's must like ghosts. Except theres rules

[PhainHmoobLee]

@ReallyDementis what would jesus do? of course forgive these athiests because they do believe in god secretly ahah. who doesn't believe in god, for god is all. the water you drink is god, the food you eat, the earth. the universe is god, we can destroy earth right now and the cosmos would be a okay.

[MunchMunchCrunchy]

@thepsychicpebble, what planet are you living on where Christians don't persecute non-Christians and shove their beliefs down everyone's throats because I want to move there ASAP?