N-Magnet: Narcissist's Ideal Victim?

Everything you Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html

Many victims of narcissists are firmly convinced that they have been "chosen" by their abusers because of their capacity to empathize, their innate sensitivity, compassion, and their ability to love and care. Indeed, these qualities tend to attract exploitative psychopathic predators who leverage these human emotions to their advantage. "Classical" narcissists, however, are actually repelled by such displays of contemptible "mushy" frailties. They regard natural born empaths as deplorable and nauseating weaklings who deserve all the abuse and ill-fortune that life and the narcissist mete out to them.

Narcissists, therefore, are highly unlikely to be drawn to such displays of tenderness, understanding, and sympathy. They are bound to consider them fake manipulative ploys whose sole purpose is either to extract something of value from the gullible narcissist by harping on his emotional needs - or to hurt and torment him once having secured his attachment and reciprocal love. Narcissists attribute to empathic, sensitive persons their own faults, traits, and motives - a primitive psychological defense mechanism known as projection.


(From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 3 DVDs with 16 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)

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[fortsmithow]

If only I could spend a week In this man's office. Sam, you have gotten me through a very hard time in my life. Thank you for all your wisdom. Mark.

[elbanis666]

Narcissistic people are clowns.

[SovereignBeing]

victims are more human, oppressors are more reptilian, think of yourself as a powerful surpasser, and when you are no longer a victim, you will no longer attract these people. 

[LTizzle34]

Sam....this could add to your own supply...but you are great!

[morghean]

omg...u r so right......am done too finally, all done, and IT feels sooooooooooooooooo good.

[BettyBluBox]

@Kathydrel

[Saraswati0183]

He says, "Bad relationships--however harrowing--constitute opportunities to learn lessons. And if you fail to do that, you have no one to blame, but yourself." I just needed to write that down, so I can get to it fast. I'm going to need it a lot now, because I keep asking "Why?" The lesson I am trying to learn (I'm already good at figuring them out, fast!) is why they are this way? What forms them?

[itsanottame]

I wish the pastor had said "Do you take this exploitative psychopathic predator to be your lawful husband" What a journey - mine is a doozy - acute chronic and pathological has been diagnosed from time to time as schizoid paranoid sociopathic and psychotically violent. Well Im done, my T Shirt no longer reads "Fly Paper for Freaks" out with the old 'nice' me and in with the Assertive Biatch" he's history.

[organysntracey1]

Thank you for that vid. I am an empath, and/or HSP and I do often attract all sorts because of my outgoing, friendly, and all-to-helpful nature. But I realize now, that my N husband, out of sheer opportunity to secure his primary supply, used me to do just that (through an unsuspecting friend who was part of that supply). Before I can move on, one thing I HAVE to know is that I'm not going to continue to be this "magnet" as I see myself now. Your vid helps with this immensely.

[Innuendoh]

@kellycat2552 Hey Kelly, be careful who you take advice from, she might just be the biggest narcissist on YouTube, y'know? Just cautionin' ;)

[Kathydrel]

Keep them coming Sam , I look forward to every video .just when I think I've got my head around one aspect you bring another to our attention.your book and your videos are a survival guide and that is not an igsaduration thanks again .

[AmandyPants]

Once again... extremely helpful and relevant. It's so funny that I came to the conclusion just earlier this week that I generally attract all people with my attitude and caring demeanor, and that it just so happens that Narcissists have been in the mix. See? Just another example of how relevant and helpful Sam's work is! If you pay attention eventually you'll become your own teacher. This really is like having a free therapist. I am so grateful.