PERPETUAL MOTION ! (Bullshipper's Morning Wood . . . Exposed ! )

PERPETUAL MOTION MARINE PROPULSION (P.M.M.P.) is a novel invention whereby wind-energy is harnessed by the 'egg-whisk' rotor, mounted to the centre of a launch, and turned through ninety degrees (using a crown & pinion drive-system) to deliver rotational energy to a conventional propeller.

Once the vessel is moving, even in the absence of wind, the forward momentum of the launch provides sufficient energy to turn the rotor against the resistance of the air - thus delivering 'perpetual motion'.

In addition to this, the entire superstructure of the vessel is constructed from an innovative dual-skin technology. The outer surface contains photovoltaic cells, delivering electricity to charge thin, lithium-ion batteries which are contained within the inner skin. This stored energy is harnessed through ultra-efficient electric motors to provide extra thrust when at sea or for manoeuvering whilst in the marina.

The system was developed by Prof. James King, third Earl Of Snettisham and founder member of S.P.O.O.F. ( Scientists Providing Opportunities Of Fame) - a sort of T.V. talent show for nerdy inventors.

WHITTLING:

Professor King is a keen exponent of the traditional art of 'wood whittling' and it was whilst whittling that he had his revelation regarding the 'egg-whisk' drive. He says :

" Where others have gone wrong, is in their choice of materials. The first-choice material of 'metal' for gears is fraught with problems, especially as metals generally get softer as they get hotter. The gears in my 'egg-whisk' drive are made from organic olive-wood, a material which gets harder when heated. Additionally, I use only the finest virgin olive-oil as my lubricant. "

Such is Prof. King's love of whittling that he carries a personal supply of whittling wood with him at all times. He says:

" Wherever I am in the world, I always have wood when I awake in the morning "

We understand that, since giving this interview, prof King has sadly separated from his third wife, Sharon, due to 'Irreconcilable differences'.

BIOGRAPHY:

Prof King is the third male heir to occupy the family seat of 'Bullship Hall', which is situated nr. Booton, Norfolk, U.K. The King family made their fortune during the early 20th Century, when they shipped huge amounts of corned beef (bully beef), from Argentina, to the troops in W.W.1 in Europe. It was this fortune which built the family home, and from this undertaking is derived its somewhat unusual name.

Category:

Comedy

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[Oswlek]

I wanted to believe you at first, but seeing the anacronym nearly spelt pimp, I was a tad distrustful, for good reason, it turned out. ;-)

[stufish4040]

@Oswlek Hahaha . . your comment made me lol. Nice to see you, Justin, it's been a while =D.

[stewze]

I thought you said "so this is the prototype of the air destroyer" lol. Wait, did you?

[stufish4040]

@stewze LOL xD Your script's better than mine !

[rhopen]

Very cool Stu, you had me going there form a bit :o) -Ron

[CurtisMateer]

Ha! Funny. Great idea mind you.