jenna's blanket - art project 09

While pregnant with my daughter I began crocheting a blanket to give her, pouring my heart and soul into it so that she would have it with her when I could not be. I finished her blanket nearly a year after she left me to be with her new family, and I mailed it to the prearranged post office box her parents had set up so that I could send her letters and poems, and also so that they could mail me pictures and updates on how she was doing, as per our open adoption agreement.

A lot of love and sentiment went into the creation of that blanket, I made it with my own hands, and when it was finished, it was large enough to cover a queen size bed. It was pink and white, and made with whisper soft yarn. I began making a blanket for myself as a remembrance item, but in all this time I havent been able to finish it. It is done in the same pattern I used for Jennas blanket, but it is a small beginning that I cannot bear to complete.

For my performance I will cut this blanket into pieces as a representation of the pain and loss I felt all over again when it became apparent to me that I would no longer have any contact with my daughter and her family because they had closed the post office box with no notice, and no explanation.
With this piece, I want to express the range of emotions that a birth mother experiences, including tremendous feelings of grief, loss, pain, anger, hope, and especially and most importantly Love. Specifically, I want to portray the feelings that occur when an adoptive mother gives her child to a family with the understanding and concurrence of an open adoption, but is then cut off from any contact in knowing how her child is doing and growing up.

Theorists differ in their beliefs about how open adoption arrangements may affect birthmother grief. Some believe that open arrangements may help facilitate healthy adjustment to grief and loss while others argue that open adoptions are more difficult than confidential adoptions for the birth mother. Some believe that in open adoptions, birthmothers cannot adequately grieve over placing their children because there is no closure, and therefore open adoptions may not be the best option. The contrasting argument is that the relationships between birthmothers and adoptive families in fully disclosed adoptions mediate the experience of grief. They view openness as a process that allows a birthmother to confront her grief over the loss of the parenting role and to work through it in a supportive environment, which includes the adoptive parents and the child.
~ Openness in Adoption, Grotevant & McRoy, 1998 ~

I want this performance to bring awareness of birth mother issues out in a very social way. I would like tit to represent so many things, including the breaking of the bond between birthmother and child, as well as the bond with the adoptive family. I aspire for this piece to symbolize the breaking down of social norms regarding adoption and the way that the birthmother is so often disregarded once the adoption is complete. Adoption is indeed a complex and emotional process, and it does not end for the birthmother once her child leaves her, for it will always carry on in her heart and soul.


Song is 'Apocalyptica' by Three Days Grace (which I do not own)

Category:

Nonprofits & Activism

Tags:

• art
• project
• blanket
• adoption
• birthmother

[novinya2]

I was moved by your video, and yet left wondering how a person such as yourself had to give up her child for adoption?...

[Sammicsno]

My mother made me clothes before she had to give me away; she left them for me but I never got them. She also gave a message to pass on to me that she loved me. I never got that either.

I cannot tell you how much these things would have meant to me. And how angry I feel that these meagre possessions were stolen from me in infancy.

ftw

[imabostonrsfan]

Sorry about the shaky camera..... I am so proud of you Brittany. It took alot of guts to do this. I admire you for doing this.