The Sound of a Heart Breaking

I brought our camera to film the 13-week ultrasound of our little twins. This is is moment when we discovered that they had not survived.

I wrestle with the judgment of having posted such an intensely private video. I tell myself that part of the pain of miscarriage comes from the fact that though it's an incredibly common experience, most people just pretend it never happened. By leaving this video up, maybe a heartbroken mother out there won't feel so alone.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• miscarriage
• loss
• twins
• fetal
• demise
• sad
• sorrow
• mourn
• mourning
• baby
• mother
• parent

[ResistFutility]

I'm five weeks pregnant at the moment & I've had a miscarriage before at 13 weeks.

I'm terrified of it happening again.

I bawled my eyes out over this video. I'm so scared of this happening to me, again.

[bjjolley]

@ResistFutility This was our third consecutive miscarriage of 13+ weeks. I am sadly familiar with the terror you describe. Try to be brave and remember that nature is not something we can control much. Eat right, keep a healthy routine and hope for the best.

Take comfort in knowing that in spite of the risk and fear you feel, you faced it anyway, and should it all work out your child will be raised by a courageous mother who knows how immensely precious life is.

[brooknrich]

I just want to tell you "thank you" for putting up this video and leaving it up. I know how incredibly hard it is for you but I wanted to just say thank you. I was pregnant with twins and we found no heartbeats at 14 weeks. My husband and I, like you and yours, were in shock. I have to hold on to knowing that I will oneday hold them again in Heaven and that their is such a special place for all of our Angel Babies there. Thank you so much again, this has helped me heal!

Brook

[bjjolley]

@brooknrich - It brings me great satisfaction that this was able to help you in some small way. My sympathies to you and your husband.

[PeterPaige427]

i am so sorry about your loss. i just miscarried twins at about 6 weeks. its the hardest thing to do, losing children. be happy you had the support of each other. the father of mine put us on a break the day before i miscarried, and wen all the information was found out all i got from him was an o, it wasnt your fault. and he quit talking to me

[bjjolley]

@PeterPaige427 - That's more grief than anyone should have to endure. I'm so sorry. Having his child would have legally tied you together for decades. At least you're not stuck with that heartless ass.

[bjjolley]

@PaulaPeachy1 - Each pregnant day is a day with better chances for success. Keep to hope. Your story isn't written yet. It might have the best ending ever.

[SkittlesNTwix]

@carlynicoleelliotte I will pray for you! I'm so sorry to hear of your losses. It's good to know that at least they had parents as strong as you. Life isn't easy but it is worth it. Please remember that. God bless! <3

[SkittlesNTwix]

I almost cried. It was so devastating to see your loss. I could tell you were in immediate shock. I would be too. I believe I had a miscarriage and it just tore my heart out. I cried for a long time. I now have a daughter (born 12/1/11) and I couldn't ask for more. Please know everything happens for a reason. Nobody said life would be easy, they just said it would be worth it.

[rachelftwxo]

wow, i'm sorry :( this is so sad! :(

[KareBear0310]

Although it happened a few years ago, I'm very sorry for the loss you endured... The emotional pain really never goes away, does it? I'm going in for a D&C tomorrow... this has been the 3rd miscarriage we've had. My heart goes out to you and all who've experienced a loss like we all have. It's reasurring to know that we aren't alone though. =)

[09BiggB]

i am so sorry for your loss. i miscarried twin boys on my 22nd birthday. then i miscarried again. now i am 29w3d pregnant with a little baby girl. if you need someone to talk to i am hear for you and i'll cry with you.

[zanaouk]

Im sorry. :( I know the feeling if heartbreak too. You are wonderfully strong to post this and leave this up.

[carlynicoleelliotte]

I know this all too well. I went in to have my daughter checked at 32w2d and there was no heartbeat. It was horrible. She was my 2nd loss. Before losing her we lost our 4 month old daughter. Thankfully we have went on to have a healthy baby since and are currently pregnant (7 weeks) again and praying for the best.

[TgtDuck89]

thanks or posting this video. my husband and i had a similar experience back in September. i was pregnant with just one baby and our first ultra sound at 11weeks and 2days revealed no heart beat and that our baby had not survived past 6 weeks before i finally miscarried. i cannot imagine how hard it was for you to post this video but it helped me not to feel as alone as i first had when i had my miscarriage.

[ikemiker]

Thank you for sharing. When I had my miscarriages, it seemed like I was the only person who it had ever happened to. It's so good for people to know that they are not alone. So sorry for your loss.

[honeyflash1]

Crying. My heart dropped to my stomach when there was no sound on the heartbeats. .I've only been pregnant once and miscarried the day before I was 8 weeks. I never got the chance to see my baby. I was hurt, but I can only imagine the pain when this happens beyond 8 weeks. I've never been able to get pregnant again because of the fear of having a miscarriage. I pray everything is okay for you guys.