What the Blaizes - Prostituting Murlocs

monologue of Drake Blaize. surprise at the end! Watch till end for goodness :D michigan J frog or shall i say...MURLOC!!

for those hard of hearing..
There can be few things more detrimental to a man's self worth than a perceived failure in the bedroom area. If a fellow's lady friend is under-whelmed with her partner's efforts and decides, mid-way, that she has a pressing engagement elsewhere, it can seriously impact on a man's ego. When a paid for prostitute decides she is bored and leaves early, there is only one recourse for the rebuffed, a single option left for a proud and honourable gentleman, and that is to sue her for 1.8 million dollars.

An American in Las Vegas called Hubert, overcame the handicap that his name must pose when attempting to attract a woman of the opposite sex by selecting a companion to while away the evening whose services were charged for and selected from a menu, in much the same way you choose the dishes in your local Chinese takeaway. The dish in question was verbally contracted to provide a number 12 and a number 36, which were a lap dance and what the newspapers call "a sex act", respectively. Terming it an act implies that the lady in question was a qualified thespian but even she could not feign interest for the full hour paid for, and left after just half that time, which caused Hubert to take the only natural course in a town where prostitution is illegal and he could go to jail - he called he police. They were busy and apparently in a good mood and suggested he contact the Better Business Bureau, which is an organisation that helps local customers who are dissatisfied with the level of service they have received. He also filed papers with the court demanding a full refund of his investment in the lady's business, the closure of her going concern and 1.8 million dollars as compensation for what he called "the tragic event that happened".

To term it a tragedy may be a be a bit strong but perhaps the villain of the piece was Lady Macbeth. To make matters worse, Hubert says that he now requires medical treatment for a condition related to the incident, such is the level of his trauma. And if you think that the unspecified nature of his malady simply makes this story funnier, that is because you are either:

a) unsympathetic and unatuned to the delicate sensibilities of the modern man, or

b) you have never been dumped halfway through a lap dance.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• Drake
• Blaize
• porn
• emo
• gay
• london
• star
• homo
• homoemo
• murloc
• prostitutes
• new
• york
• hubert
• leaves
• 1.8
• million
• dollars
• Michigan
• Frog

[DrakeBlaize]

edited with the full monologue in the description :)

[DrakeBlaize]

cheers thanks very much :D i know i talk too fast but it took a million takes and its getting late :D

[creeper1ify]

Drake you a nutty geek but i do love you

[ilikebentpogosticks]

YOU NEED TO READ A BOOK.

That would be awesome. :D

[EmozCookiez]

O.O I want your shirt.... And a little piece of you ^_~

[sleazymichael]

GR8 stuff - never know what to expect - the element of surprise.

Hey gr8 news about Belle De Jour 'Diary of London call girl' giving you the thumbs up - please share with everyone on a future blog!

Green haur - new tatt - t shirt - love em.

[NewraSKylarke]

nice singing voice!! love the litte frog noise. awesome

monologue was great. you put a lot of inflections into your speach to engage your audience, which is really important in things like monologues.

and the story in the monologue..... oh my goodness. i missed that in the paper, but how silly do you have to be to phone the police for something that is illegal... plonker. brilliant.

loving the hair!! very cool!

[Darkbluewolves10]

love your new tattoo

[Tsubakiification]

(Your hair .It must be love. )

MURLOCS. HNNNNGH YES.

[andrewwpwhite1978]

I love the new green hair  xx

[vampyreofanarchy]

hehe I likes the end it's so funny haha I also like the shirt! :)