Major-General's Song

I made this cuz I had nothing to do for a whole day this summer!

lyrics:
I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus' uniform:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle[*] from a javelin,
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery—
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy—
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a-gee.
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

Category:

Music

Tags:

• I
• am
• the
• very
• model
• of
• a
• modern
• makor
• general
• major-general
• song
• general's
• work
• in
• progress
• gilbert
• and
• sullivan
• &

[MonetStargazer]

Should try listen to Mordin Solus's cover. It's good.

[dcharlatan]

the rifle is incorrect by the way, that was a mosin-nagant

[lolke12]

mmm lamas

[budbuddingdingMUSE]

@New023 parodied

[5star555555555]

turn on captions

[Rankik]

ive tried to sing along but damn lol

[0ldfinger]

Well done, stout fellow that you are!

[whisperhog]

@dcharlatan Sorry, you're also incorrect. It is a Model 1891 Mauser, a derivative of the original 1889 smallbore Mauser rifle as made for the Belgian Army. The "Mauser rifle" referred to in the lyrics (written in 1879), however, would have been the then-revolutionary Mauser Model 1871 Infanterie Gewehr which made the equally revolutionary French Model 1866 Chassepot needle fire guns obsolete. Not that it really matter, though.

[New023]

this song is remade by tom lehrer "element song"

[xHeartsxBloodx]

I remember doing this play for a high school production... this song was a pain for the chorus, and our general bit his tongue 6 times on opening night. XD

[SnakeOnAPlane]

@Siluriuskaeso Yup. While young boys were getting gunned down and shelled in the fields of the Somme, the Commanders were doing Crosswords and Sudoku.

[Siluriuskaeso]

No wonder the horrible brit casualties in WWI